Disclaimer: Don't read this post if you get distressed by my rantings. If it should make you feel any better and boost your confidence on someone being down and out in the O's and you're doing really fine and you can use someone's low to take u higher, by all means.

No really.


Wanted: Punch Bag

Humans and inanimate objects free to apply.

Call 1800-I-SCREWED-UP-MY-O-LEVELS.

Damn the O's giving me a big headache. I've felt every form of negative emotion (except for a suicidal tendency cos that's just dumb). Frustration, anger, disappointment, dejection, anxiety. Least I haven't felt apathy yet. Closest I get is just unmotivated. Then I'll just pretend I don't care or just laugh at the impossibility of it all. (I haven't lost it okay... that's contradictory)

Sucks when you don't just disappoint yourself but when you felt like you've let down your whole world. I mean, of course, if you're your whole world ... haha diva!

Now I shall curse my Mp3 for dying on me when I need it's amazing ability to play songs from a tiny stick. damn you technology.

To everyone I know: Sorry if I piss you off with my post-paper negative chakra (is that what it's called?). I'll be fine. Just thinking of how I've disappointed myself and the people i actually care about. (makes me sound so... uncaring to the rest of the world) haha... sweet irony. Because I care about me and you, I get angry at you, which makes you think I don't care for you cos I don't give you a break.

Nope, I'll get over it. Even if I've shown that I couldn't, but I will. You gotta feel upset for all there is before you can move on without a load on your shoulders.

Sometimes its so hard to think positive.

One chance to do it, one chance to screw it.

So much for being bound by your limitations. Don't be too hard on yourself if things haven't been going your way for the last 4 years. No really, just take it easy and hope you don't fall in the last lap.

I'm running low on endurance here ya'll. Why am I losing my patience when I need it the most?

I just wanna do well in life. SO STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE THE O'S ARE SEC 4S LIVES PLEASE I DON'T WANT MY LIFE TO REVOLVE AROUND AN EXAM! They should never have told me that O levels determine what and what. Cos now I can't get it out of my head. (This my friends, is a suggestion, not an accusation even though it sounds vaguely and angrily like one)

What next? It only takes away my ability to be happy and move on. And it eats up my endurance. And it gives me a gloomy perspective of life.

It's all about studying to move on to more studying to move on to an ideal.

Watch what you say educators. Your words have a huge influence on people who care. Or care too much. At least on the subconcious it has an effect.

I suppose it has a lot to do with how I deal with things. (Well, duh) Gimme a break now, I'm growing up. In Singapore.

I have got to re-wire my mentality to put it to success mode. yeah right, tried that so many times. I have got to see a shrink. I can't help it. Why am i stressing so much over something that I can't see?

I suppose I'm just afraid things won't turn out the way I want them to. I need them to.

I want my As! Do I think I have done enough?

Did I panic?

Did I try my best?

Did I try my best to get over it?

What's wrong with me?

Don't answer these for me, I know. I suppose it's like driving through the middle of nowhere without a map seeking for solutions. When will we get there? I told you, we'll get there when we get there. Shut up for the rest of the drive.

Still, it isn't a case of "The more my prayers, the lesser my grace". God has been kind enough to me, and I don't blame Him for things that don't seem to work out since I'm not omniscient. How would I know that it can be part of a larger frame of things that work out? Haha, well its a different story when you know the question's easy and how to do it, but you panic, there's no time and you didn't study it clearly enough, but you did study it.

Moral of the story: Don't assume things and point fingers at divinity, demons or humanity. We ain't blessed with an all-seeing eye.

Well now I see a bit of the shining point lighting up the despair. Suppose I can start off by not writing off uncertainty as positive.

Cos you'll never know. Just hope it doesn't bite you in the ass.

Also, even if things don't work out when the results come out, they're also a part of uncertainty that's in the rest of your life.

Bah, will be lending my textbook, notes, TYS and solutions for next year O level students. Haha, you'll like my notes if you can understand it.

I've done what I can.

I'll fly higher cos they can't stop me.

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Just what I can say about things that screwed me. Hahah, what better way to put it?

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting

Been out with the cousins yesterday. Catching up with them was a lot of fun, though not without misunderstandings (and gossiping). Ah well, I'm so darn un-fit, this is real bad, and I'm losing my patience with my goggles and water-clogged frozen ears. uhohs.

(Hmph. 16 rounds and counting in the pool damn you. Make me feel so bad about myself. And Jasmin's faster than me now NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Time to shape up! *gets fat ass off couch* Not to mention, I have 2 mugger-NJwannago-s cousins. Feelin' the pressure ya'll. *feels real inferior about wanting to take alternative route*)

The O's are in less than 2 months, 30 plus days to be exact. Time to get back to studying today. I'm going into deep thought.

So much for conflicting advice.

To do what you like to do so you won't regret (or would), or to go down the mass route (whether you will regret or not is another thing)

Wings take me higher, sky please come lower.

The swimming pool and the study room, then eventually the exam hall. What's the difference? It really makes me feel that whatever it is, I'll never have their speed, stamina or skill. Now, even our aspirations are different. Not like there's a problem with that.

I learnt to kick my legs to keep myself afloat, to breathe underwater, to make sharp turns in the water, to save myself if i was drowning, and i was pulled out of deep water twice when I couldn't rise above the surface.

The feeling of sinking is never fun. To think they were the ones to teach me how to swim. At least now, I know I would never die as quickly if i was thrown into uncharted territory.

I still find that most of the time, I'm struggling to keep myself afloat.

When can I be on par with everyone else? I don't want to lag behind. Then again, it might not be so much of a case of being like everyone else... Damn I'm confused.

I want to be my own person and find my own direction, and yet I feel that I cannot be far behind others cos I wouldn't know if it's foolproof. And yes I need it to be foolproof, its the o levels for pete's sake, not just another challenge at swimming to see who can get to the other side of the pool first.

In that case, I know I'll always be third best.

Labels: Darkness, Family, Questions, Secondary School Life

This is a blog post for the sanity of us all.

Anyway darlings, this is for you too. Just so happened today I'm shifted to the back of the class, after the previous seat arrangement with lots of grievances involved. However, when I'm back with Sharon, it means I let my guard down and start giving off a dangerous vibe. Otherwise known as "emo-ing".

I hope I didn't scare Don too much, really I don't mind sitting next to you, in fact it's my pleasure to sit next to an untidy math nerd/pro (yeah.. your math skills are just as ... distinguishable as your handwriting, no one really beats you at this!) REALLY! If you're reading this: You'll get to know me better, and I'm harmless when I emo...well at least it wouldn't be directed at the parties not involved. See I'm a good girl.

So there, emo-ing in my seat cos I was feeling frustrated at everything, especially the shit of kinematics (settled today by my wonderful, preetyful, smartass Grace LOVEYOU i can't survive without you oh great lifeline paid 50 bucks per 2hours to be forced to sit next to me). Well, Math's gonna give me a brain tumour soon. Seething emotions and a headache, like when Gek Kim doesn't get the debate motion after more than half an hour, which by the way is 'Non-biodegradable materials should be charged more in consumption'. And some other issues that seem like such a waste of time.

It's the idea of how Prelims is in 20 days, O's in 75 days that really scare the shit out of me, and yeah I felt like breaking down during Amath. I wonder if it's a mental thing to feel like I'm not doing anything though I'm trying.

Anyway, thinking of how many other must feel the same way, I guess what we can do is be mutually supportive in every way we can... Okay that sounds so MsOng.

Since I'm currently unable to spend my time with you guys (aww), but here it is anyway... Will be updating on individual dedications like everyone's doing. I'm jumping on the bandwagon to spread the loooove. Do follow the link :) Yeah it means this much that i'm posting both the vid and the lyrics, don't disappoint me! GOGOGO!!

Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWixUIMTjYc

Lyrics:

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Yeah...Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall


Yup... That's about it, shall blog more about this, plus the dedications tomorrow... Just some things I wanted to say but couldn't. Yeah and now I do love Christina Aguilera, don't care if some people find her annoying. I just like her vocals and strength. As usual.

Goodnight! I shan't be late tomorrow... corright Mr Ang? (Damn he still has hallucinations about me being late and starts lecturing me!)

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Friends, Real Life, Teen Angst

Changed my blogskin! Yup, definitely a breather from the bandwidth
exceeded photobucket shit. GRR! Ah well, I've grown to like my new skin already. At first I was so pissed off at blogskins cos there wasn't any skin that really appealed to me.

The basic writing styles etc. wouldn't change (back to skimming through my blog posts), but I guess from here, it would take a more analytical, 3rd party, Freudian perspective. Like I said, "more". :) I ain't going nowhere. Not planning to!

BTW, I'm not emo in this post, haha you should know me. Just being contemplative here.

Well it's just that some serious things happened lately, and by 'serious' it really is an understatement. *shifty* Just didn't know how much it snowballed. So there, I'm using this bloggy to do reflecting and all, so be happy Ms Ong. (don't come here after I've graduated thank you! I still need you and your impression of me to write my testimonial HEHEH)

Come on over, come on over baby.

Personally, I feel that because of my ambiguity (well more so than others), I really do leave it up to people to decide who I am, as in what they think of me. So, they just map out a picture of what they think, and react accordingly. Ah well, as much as it's not been an easy ride this way, at least it's told me who I can really trust to give me hand to, and take their hands. Again it's up to them to think if it's their loss or gain.

Suddenly I have to face the fact that I've a lot more internal and external mazes that I'd like to face up to. So yeah, a lot has got to do with perspective, from the most subliminal to the blatant. Tough nut to crack eh?

It's just, I had no idea that things snowballed to this state today, it's almost subconcious. Haha, this would be a good time to say that I might be taking drama too seriously. Wait, everyone's got drama in their lives.

Take acting.

There's the actor who just does whatever the director says.
There's the actor who goes against the director and does her own thing like a freaking diva. (Please don't bring Queenie into this! I'm the biggest diva here can!*flips hair* Check me out Queenie! I can do this hair flipping thing better than you can rock your silver strappy attention-deficit sandals)

See!! RAWR that's what I mean.

Then there's the director who's pretty much blur on how to do blocking, deal with difficult actors, then just decides "Let's just get this over with" and does a shitty job.
Or the perfectionist director who's getting walked over by everything. Exerting control is futile.

The frustrated senior and the impatient junior.
The perfectionist and the slacker.
The train wreck and the completely normal person.
The girl who scares Mdm Priya and also scared by her.

But I haven't lost my sense of purpose and sanity yet.. I think. Purpose definitely not. The people around me and the world, plus some reflections have settled that. Thank you guys (: For you all mean so much to me, I've gone to this extent.

Time for the tough to get going!

(And yes, I will do what I have to do. Sounds familiar, Sec3s? Look I'm doing it too!)

That aside, DAMNIT I WAS LATE TODAY. Woke up at the same time, stood at the bus stop at the same freaking time, maybe even earlier. 3 buses went by cause of the crowd... GRR. Darn, it's always the adults (at my stop) that are the frigging hell most kiasu ones. I can't tell you how many times i got shoved, pushed, ignored and treated like... just so they can get on the bus first, though we've been waiting earlier. We gots to go to school people. LOL, trying to beat the ERP is it? Damn, and to think the school always gets complaint letter about teens. Sure they're inconsiderate but not all of us. Uncivilised? We're not always in the wrong dammit. Look at yourselves. Yes it's coming from a teenager, call me defiant and rebellious and I haven't got parents for nuts. I'm just stating a fact.

Okay la, that's not the reason why I'm late. It's just 3 buses too crowded.. so it wasn't really my day. But I'm not gonna ruin it. :)

Hmm, I wonder if some teachers got something against me already. Ah well, I try to stay out of shit anyway. HOHO I CAN READ YOUR CUES PEOPLE. So yeah, i realised that whether or not you get punished for latecoming is mostly due to the teacher's mood. Observe.

Teachers in bad mood usually seem like they're having menopause (for women) or men-opause(for men) Thank you Shawn for this bit of info. I do feel sorry for you knowing an old man in his mid life crisis having problems with that. Would a gynae help?

Well...
They almost seem like Christopher Boone. 3 red cars makes it a good day. 5 yellow cars is a black day. Seriously! Like, 3 strikes and you're out. 3 good things happened to me before 7.25 and you're all scot-free.

Good mood: HELLO STUDENTS! Ya, what to do, the bus like that today! All write a complaint letter to SBS okay! For 45 years, and still like that. We have a world class service, so we should do something about it.

Me (under my breath, deadpan stare): Sure... world class service. Like what happened when mas selamat escaped. They're not going to respond to some dumbass letter. Hundreds of these must've been written 45 years ago, don't you think so too, Mr Ang? Common sense, I might be late, but I'm not as tired as I seem.

Who knows we can do another musical about his capture 45 years later to celebrate: Our Pride, Our Toilets.

Bad Mood: Today would be a splendid example.

Now I know how it feels like to be in one of those war movies where Jews and their buddies get locked up in Naze concentration camps, ooh ohh with an oversized Nazi prison warden too! With a deep scary voice, and a burly physique. Well, today I was 10 minutes late. Sat with Anjelica at the latecomers parade, human zoo, museum, whatever you want to call it. It's a free exhibit where people can go tsktsktsk, make dumb comments, or laugh and wave HI! to the exhibits and hope they respond. HI SHAWN! YOU SAW US TODAY! *waves*

Anyway, saw Huiyi, Syafiqah, Ann Perng etc. too... haha not me alone. Ah well, at least i didn't waste 55cents more than those people who chose to switch to 154 thought they would most likely be late. Well, let's put things into context.

We were living in fear and boredom, just chatting, thinking of the optimisms and downs in life... then the warden came. Silence. Then an order to have a small space, with a specific distance from the other souls. Some barking, discussing with a higher-up, seperating the persistent cases ... and then the meting out of the physical labour.

I sigh and I would rather be let back into my ghetto. C'mon it's bad enough to be there, here too?! 1 round around the camp within a stipulated time. Making the best out of it, Anj and I took our time and laughed our asses off. She was to lose an important personal possesion because of the sweat from her forehead wasn't very friendly.

Yippee, sentenced to another round. (damn, haven't done running in sucha long time)

Oh come on, it's so... freaking alike, except that the context is different. We get cleaned up and I went for English class 40 minutes late. So tempted to tell Mdm Priya that I went for a trip to the Nazi camp, then decided to tell her I was late. Ruined the fun.

Wow, I realised that I'm becoming a lot more harsh and critical about things, rather than choosing to sit on the fence... Guess I just can't shut up anymore. LOL, my mouth isn't likely to take a holiday anytime soon.

Like what Mark Lee said:

Actually I was very quiet in primary school, but when I went to secondary school, i discovered the joy of talking. And I haven't stopped since.

OH MY!

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Real Life, Secondary School Life, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, Teen Angst, To-do list

Africa's women last and least in food crisis
Cultural expectations ensure women are hardest hit amid growing scarcity:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25757291/


I get a lot of news from setting msn.com as homepage. This is gonna be a short one. Kays so this is how I spent my day:

1. Had a cramp in my left leg at around nine plus. Screamed, because it hurt so much and I couldn't move it. My mum fixed it for me, then I drifted back to sleep cos of the pain.

2. Woke up and walked with a limp.

3. Studied Acids Bases and Salts.

4. Had breakfast.

5. Studied 3/4 of Acids Bases and Salts.

6. Slacked, lying on my bed.

7. Turned on the lappy for a few hours, with chocolate and biscuits in between.

8. Had something to eat. Soup that's made from onion, celery (still think it's nicer than bell peppers!), tomato, carrot. With a mashed hard boiled egg.

9. More soup with rice!

10. Feeling the effects of gastric, but not grinding pain in my tummy. More of nausea and giddiness.

11. Writhed under my blanket for one hour trying to rest.

12. Dinner part 2. More rice, with the last egg and the little bit of soup left. (grr they ate everything! ah well, doubt I could stomach anyway)

13. Blogging, feeling the after effects of gastric.

So there, an ordinary day, with studying, slacking (mostly slacking) and a mild hit of gastric.

Read the news article :) Don't be lazy now. I can't spread awareness like this. (Damn I make myself sound so... saintly. HAHA DON'T CARE!)

My take: Just so happened that all my actions, my living environment and all conflicted so much with hers that I felt like we were living in a paradox. To think somewhere else in the world, oceans away on another continent is a woman experiencing this everyday and biting her upper lip cos she doesn't have much of a choice to start with. All while I'm staring at my lappy, having chocolate to eat, and dinner has nutritious soup with lots of veggies, and studying about acids, bases and salts.

Yet, she is a person, a female just like me. Fundamentally and anatomically, there isn't much of a difference.

Yup I do take things for granted. Life is just so unfair, ain't it? Fine fine, I'll start by having my meals on time.

Labels: Darkness, What's up or new

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Food, Friends, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, Teen Angst, WhatcausesJoy

Third post for today, but I'm just feeling inspired, so 'DON'T STOP ME NOW, DON'T STOP ME CUZ I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME, HAVIN' A GOOD TIME!', hehe ya James aka Shawn?

Two issues will be discussed. One based on tourism (from inspiration from Redtail's blog) and another on -gasps- something taboo, like say ... t.A.T.u? Hmm, possibly another on scammers with preety heart-shaped paperclips.

t.A.T.u is a female Russian singing duo formed out of a children's singing group. They're very talented, and generate publicity and do marketing through the use of controversy (of lesbianism) and a fair amount of skin. The Russian name of t.A.T.u is painfully long (much to Shawn's delight) but it just means a shortened version of "This Girl Loves That Girl". It becomes "This Loves Her" for short.

Their English debut single "All The Things She Said" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K54p_fCrGL8) made waves throughout the world. or the world with the Internet, MTV or pop radio. Never a player of "playing safe", they're marketed as lesbians. Their sexual orientation is unclear though. Or at least I have no idea la, but I won't write them off as lesbians. Oh well, it's a bit sneaky and creative to market singers like this, though it has clearly worked. It's really your opinion. Though I'd like to think they do have it 'It" factor, solid singing voices and harmonisation and really are more intelligent than people want to see them in their fetish schoolgirl outfits and revealing shots. Oh well, sex sells.

In their video of the song, well yeah there's shots of them engaging in kissing. So, yep, don't watch that if you have a weak constitution for shock. Thing is, as much as publicity is involved, notice that at the end the girls leave and it's the closeminded people who are really behind the fence and contained, while they are free to go after being scrutinised. The rain clears. So the message is to tell people to be more understanding, which i believe is what a lot of people lack. It does no good to anyone.

Anyway, how does that relate to me? Or possibly you. What I really like about t.A.T.u, besides two talented European girls is that they really are smart in the sense of what they believe in, and what's really in their lyrics and albums. It's raw expression through use of music and singing voices. A pity not a lot of people give them credit for that and choose to slam them for being cheats (not really lesbians) or lesbians (this world is weird). Very liberal though, I might not agree with some of the things they do, but that's just the conservative Asian in me. I'm not a Westerner this way.

Which brings me to the question: You might say it's how they deserve it by wanting to market themselves as les-es want to make controversy to be famous, but that's their and their manager's problem really. But they do make a strong solid points about the truth with a lot of people. Simply having people judging a pair of girls like this says a lot about people doesn't it? And it's reflected in their songs. Fine by me if you say I'm a weirdo.

"You the cutest jailbird I ever did see" - Jailhouse Rock, Elvis Presley

suggesting a form of gay-ing in an all-males prison :p

Section 377A of the Penal Code of Singapore: (AH! HERE IT COMES!)

Section 377A of the Penal Code of Singapore is the main remaining piece of legislation which criminalises sex between mutually consenting adult men.

Section 377A ("Outrages on decency") states that:

Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years.

Hmm, so the law only penalises gay men? What about lesbians? Okay nevermind that, i do not wish to be dragged into a debate with lawyers and the like. Haha, that's not my main focus. I'm not one to question the Constitution, not at my age though. Thing is, even without this written law, isn't it so that there's already a de facto one? One that's unwritten, but yet clearly stated through social norms?

Ah, I'm already a weirdo before being introduced to the subject of 'Conformity' by DADP immersion. Oh, the irony. I mean I've experienced the consequences of non-conformity so many times before that it really sucks to be me. "It sucks to be me, it sucks to be me"- Avenue Q HAHA, but somehow I'm proud of it, not like I'ma rebellious wannabe. I just do what I think is right and what I feel that judgemental people have no right to take away from me. Like, I don't care what your excuse is, seriously. I have done nothing wrong. You're a biased freak, that's what you are, without peppering my words. Note the word usage and labels, smartass. Lookie!

Anyways, I guess you people stuck in the same rat hole as I am, that actually understand me, all while being confined and silenced is that I am in fact labelled, though subconsciously now. My jelly backbone-less black pencil case says "I'M NOT A RULES KINDA GIRL" in silver lettering. I guess nobody really understood what it meant, cuz I'm not a rulebreaker in school. heh, I'm not even rude to teachers that I don't like, let alone some people. By rules, I never meant for it to be school rules, but unwritten societal rules, some of which is perpetually unnecessary for a free spirit. And yes, all these in Sec2.

The pencil box might be slightly tattered now, but it signifies no change in my thinking. Independent, I might add. In some ways I am deemed to be a fool, and yet I don't think it's the wrong choice to make. Life's too short for regrets. Stuff like wanting to ask questions, but being too afraid to ask is fine, but when fundamentals like friendship, moral propriety and love is involved, I gotta put my foot down.

As an example of the most extreme that has happened, hmm .. I do have a label as a les. So when I joke about them, I never really mean it. Cuz it's how you're made, and so be it, even if it's not a majority orientation. So look at me, I've got nothing against gays. My specs are purple, by chance of course ;D.

So yeah, to clarify: I'm not a lesbian. I don't like girls that way. Okay? No matter what I do, or what I say. I kid around with people, but no, don't take that seriously. Lightens the mood, ya?

I may give girls dramatic flirtatious looks if I'm really good friends with them, kid about being a les with them, up the extent of giving girl hugs and actually holding their hands is fine too.

Take StephanieL for example. After this post, I would like the skeptics and haters to shut up (like that's possible). Sometimes, it does hurt me to think that you really think I'm a lesbian. StephL, by the way. Oh and um StephK's taken by Shawn. Aww. xP!

I'm just really good friends with her, best friends in fact. I know some people who have been really close to their buddies too, okay? Closer than I am in fact. I shan't say what, since I think the people in question would like me to be quiet about this.

Thing is, I might get all high, laughing-mad etc. with StephL, and hang outside her class etc. but it doesn't mean we touch each other the wrong way or anything. And it certainly doesn't mean I stick my tongue in her mouth either. Think of your reaction now. How do you feel? Reflect.

Thing is, some things are okay for friends to do together. Okay? Don't you see people sharing the same shower stall for camp? Don't friends hold hands too? Is it such a crime that I hang outside her class, or she does the same, or maybe enter the class? Well, what do you know, some people think so, simply because it's not right for a senior and a junior to be friends this close? Hello?! Wake up your bloody idea, she's not my CCA junior or anything, how the hell can I be biased to her? That aside, is that so wrong?

Well, guess what. It is to some people. Say, her previous classmates? And possibly mine. Or any member of the student body? How close-minded and homophobic can you people be? Or worse, so assuming and smart-alecky.

Thing is, we don't drag each other down, we encourage each other, stick up for each other, do the stuff that friends do together. And we're just more open than others about wanting to share how wonderful this friendship is to the world, yes spreading the love. Anything wrong with that? Thing is, you might not like her or like me, but you cannot deny the fact that our friendship is strong has weathered many storms. Okay? You don't know the full facts behind it. Why be so judgemental? I never said you were a gay or a lesbian, in fact, I'm sincerely nice to people I detest at times. If I have to say "hey, good luck" I mean it, even though I usually don't like you.

Are you capable of that?

Ask yourself. Do you have the slightest hint of a conscience?

It might be subconscious to you, but as respect for a human being, I suggest that if you truly feel this way, I'd like you to stop it. Okay? You may joke that I'ma lesbian or she is, but never do it till the point where we feel hurt or if that's what's really on your mind. I've clarified. Plus, no matter how holy you think you are, God or your Jiminy Cricket of a conscience would want you to think before doing or saying anything. Be understanding and accepting, it's not a crime to be a good friend dammit. I never discriminated against you for that now, did I?

I would never hurt anyone, at least I try, no matter how much they've hurt me. Which is why when i try to control, sometimes I hurt myself in the process. As long as I don't go mad, that's okay. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Now i really get "turn the other cheek". Okay? People can vouch for that. Why do you think I'm always so emotional? Well, yeah, I don't kick kitties in their bodies when i feel pissed, nor do i yell at a domestic help as and when I like.

So there, I've done what I needed to do. Speak up and stick by my beliefs. It's up to you now. Do you really wanna remain stubbornly incurable?

And yeah, i might have hugged her onstage in sec 2, haha maybe it's when I didn't realise how much "trouble" I'd be getting into. Oh the social stigma, how it stings when you're not looking. And we do have the same design of a bag. It's a friendship bag, for God's sake. Is that so wrong too? Doesn't it seem all very ludicrous now, now that you've looked at it in a logical manner? And yeah, I got it myself, with my own money, to match hers, as a symbol of friendship. It's freedom of expression too, by the way. Are you too stuffy to box that too? Gee, maybe i should migrate to the U.S. I do like their freedom. "Land of the free, and the home of the brave".

Yes, no guy bought that for me. I don't mooch off guys, thank you very much, though you've insulted me, thanks for the awareness anyway. Wish you had some of it too.

So there you go. This is my speech, and my ode to friendship, acceptance, and expression. Can swallow? i won't be sorry for what I haven't done wrong.

F = ma

Force = Mass x Acceleration

Friendship = Maturity x Acceptance/Appreciation. (i'm smart, okay fine credits to Alvin)

Recently, friends have again never failed me. I'ma lucky duck, yes siree. (References from Dictionary.com) Oh yeah, and it's no big deal being friends with anyone, guy, girl, lesbian or gay, or bi.

Ludicrous (adj.): causing laughter because of absurdity; provoking or deserving derision; ridiculous; laughable: a ludicrous lack of efficiency.

Stigma (noun): a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.

Homophobic (noun): unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality.

Perpetual (adj.):
1. continuing or enduring forever; everlasting.
2. lasting an indefinitely long time: perpetual snow.
3. continuing or continued without intermission or interruption; ceaseless: a perpetual stream of visitors all day.
4. blooming almost continuously throughout the season or the year.

Conformity (noun):
1. action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc.
2. correspondence in form, nature, or character; agreement, congruity, or accordance.
3. compliance or acquiescence; obedience.
4. (often initial capital letter) compliance with the usages of an established church, esp. the Church of England.

Skeptic (noun):
1. a person who questions the validity or authenticity of something purporting to be factual.
2. a person who maintains a doubting attitude, as toward values, plans, statements, or the character of others.
3. a person who doubts the truth of a religion, esp. Christianity, or of important elements of it.
4. (initial capital letter) Philosophy.
a. a member of a philosophical school of ancient Greece, the earliest group of which consisted of Pyrrho and his followers, who maintained that real knowledge of things is impossible.
b. any later thinker who doubts or questions the possibility of real knowledge of any kind

Propriety (noun):
1. conformity to established standards of good or proper behavior or manners.
2. appropriateness to the purpose or circumstances; suitability.
3. rightness or justness.
4. the proprieties, the conventional standards of proper behavior; manners: to observe the proprieties.
5. Obsolete. a property.
6. Obsolete. a peculiarity or characteristic of something.

Labels: Accomplishments, Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Family, Friends, Quirks, Real Life, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst, To be a Child, WhatcausesJoy

Alright, this few days has been a wonderful turn for the musical. Now just gotta get the studying down.

The costumes are just fine, and Nichole's been very patient with my hair. Ah, she's ever so sweet. Though she probably feels like using the garden shears on my hair. Props kill.

Speaking of costumes, I've got different ones for photoshoots, stage and video and rehearse in my grey funeral costume (jss uniform). And yeah, it's less painful when i refer to it as a costume.

Gawsh, sometimes, life's a miserable lukewarm cup of milo. It's almost 25 deg., not hot and not cold and you just wanna puke it all out rather than feel the unstirred milo powder chalk your teeth and line your throat till you feel like puking.

Like the incident of Ms Phua (the real one, since we all know there can be only one of her, for obvious reasons ...). Thing is, it became my prop, and we were careful with it. Mangala picked it up from next to my bag and it just fell apart. She didn't tug at it or anything, just picked it up in her hand and that frigging bad quality shit of a plastic thread fell apart. And the smooth stone beads, tiny metal beads just rolled off the steps. And we stood there staring, our mouths agape, and Mangala's mouth was the size of Texas and with the most I-don't-believe-this face. And when i told Ms Phua, I got lectured "oh you must keep your props properly"

Like, it's not like I threw it on MRT train tracks right! Hmm .. maybe an elephant sat on it, then some European soccer team used it as a soccer ball, and it fell into a trumpet and game out through the other side ...

Of course I handled it with care and put it next to my bag WITH OTHER PROPS AND THEY DIDN'T FALL APART LIKE SOME FLIMSY UNRELIABLE NECKLACE. WTH!

Really, I examined the thing last night while trying to fix it (when I could be doing script memorising) and the part that fell apart was weak, (well, duh). Too bad I can't put everything back properly. Life sucks, what if I can't put it back properly or it falls apart again in front of her. See, "you must take care of your props". Tsk, I might even have to get another one and it's gonna be my fault. Joy. Waste money. It better not have any sentimental value, for I have none of that in my purse. Suay!

Really, what can you do when something bad is about to happen is just passed like "passing the parcel" game and it ends in your hands, though it's clearly none of your business?

Labels: CCA, Darkness, Secondary School Life

I can't help it if my mum doesn't see the times that I study. How would I know if I have studied in school, and refuse to study anymore at home when she's around? Stroke of no-luck. I'm so ignoring her now, if I talk to her, I'm gonna lose control of myself. Of course I admit that there are times when I choose to slack off, but really, most of the studying is done when she isn't around.



I want to swear my mouth off again, for the tenth time this week.



This is just wonderful, my parents discussing what to do about me.

My life rocks. You must be so envious or rolling off your chair now.



Sometimes, it's just a whole load of shit, and you get nothing in the end. To put in effort, try to juggle and do everything right, and nothing is done. Worst still, done wrong.



5 minutes ago, I've lost my temper as of again. Crap, I'm losing the ability to form complete sentences and there's a headache drumming the back of my skull. Anyone who tries to talk to me now, will only make me fly off the handle.



Resist. Endure. Resist. Endure. Ommmmm ~



God I hate my brother now. Wonderful, I've just lost it again, and told my brother to shut up his mouth. It feels as if, I'm just letting out this stream of emotions in one scream. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Who cares if "your son is a bubbly boy full of wit and charm". Watch my foot go up your ass if I hear someone say this. He isn't that academically capable, and definitely lazier than I was. Which is why ... Life's all screwed up for me now. I hate it when my brother tries to act smart bout everything. If you say he's cute now, even if you're Mythili, I am going to yell at you or throw my stick at you, like Fanny. Don't piss me off now, I'm a soon-to-be-exploding volcano.

I've remained dormant ever since getting the results.



Great, my mum's trying to be all concerned about me now. All I want to do is just shut off and die. Kill me now. Think I should try to walk into a blind spot onto the road. Bang! and I'll forget everything.



Smart ass. I've only told my mum today, that I failed four subs. Wanna know which ones? Enjoy my pain, I'm hanging it out like linen that stupid upstairs-neighbours can dirty. I failed my Maths and Sciences. Ha ha ha!

Like wtf, I screwed up, for the millionth time. Ah well, not even English and Lit can cover my ass now. My L1R5's probably the same number as the years Lee Kuan Yew has been in power, which he still is now, by the way.



I have chosen not to tell my Mum until today.

Labels: CCA, Darkness, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst

Second post for today, since I'm in a fairly unpleasant mood and I gotta vent it out to have a good night's sleep. Or even some revision. Sporadic renewals of pissiness since last year. My patience exceeds my expectations, time and again. Sweet Mother, refreshing oranges, I do love you so. I sense a headache coming ... The following of this post shall be explained in a non-reporting style, unlike my previous post on musical training.

I do adore Shakira's songwriting skills for a reason you know, somehow I find that I am able to relate or find that her words ring true in many situations. So in the musical mood now haha ~

Poem to A Horse - Shakira (check it out on Youtube or something, the tune brings out the meaning even more)

You’re too far to bring you close
And too high to see below
just hangin’ on your daily dose
I know you never needed anyone
But the rolling papers for your grass
How can you give what you don’t have?

The context of the song is about drug addicts, and well, their addictions (if you don't know, grass is what they call a drug to be smoked). Somehow, it can be applied to individuals that aren't really on literally drugs, but drugs of their own kind, that might be of their own undoing, which happened to be a product of their creation in the monster of their minds.

They can be so ... so self-deluded in their own world, so self-centred, egoistic, ego-centric (ha! learnt this word from debate). Their ditzy illusions have unfortunately blinded them, and they can't really see the truth, even though it's right smack in front of them. Everyone is aware, except for those living in lala land. It pains me to think that they think that I am the one who is hopelessly blur and confused, and too nice to care. Oh sweet irony, open the eyes that your mother blessed you with. You are the one who is unaware, even though you think you're oh-so-smart.

It's as if, without being a total friggin' ass, you can't pass a day. No words can express my sympathy, I know not whether to feel any anger, or pity.

How can you give what you don't have?

You keep on aiming for the top
And quit before you sweat a drop
Feed your empty brain with your hydroponic pot
You start out playing with yourself
You get more fun within your shell
Nice to meet you but I gotta go my way

It's difficult for me not to feel sorry for you. When will you wake up? Somehow, I do have a nagging feeling that your attitude will lead to incompetence, which will eventually pull you down in a world that is more unforgiving. Cross the limits! Come on, nothing will happen, as far as you are concerned. Sweetie, life isn't a bed of roses. Cliched, but the thorns shall slice into your flesh sooner or later, take caution. Go ahead, some of us might enjoy your pain. Not necessarily me, no matter how many times you've hurt me. To have a heart of gold ... is priceless nowadays. I'm not Mother Theresa, even though I do try to be rid of negative emotions.

Nice to meet you, but I gotta go my way.

Chorus:

I’ll leave again
Cause I’ve been waiting in vain
But you’re so in love with yourself
If I say my heart is sore
Sounds like a cheap metaphor
So I won’t repeat it no more

For everyone, one must never judge them beforehand. Tried and tested, and many chances have been given, but unfortunately, it's hard to cooperate isn't it? I'm sick and tired already. You can be such a paradox, whenever you judge me. Ever heard of "LOOK WHO'S TALKING?"

As is Myanmar, a country brimming with precious stones, but they're all worthless when the junta squanders the cash away, ruining the people and the land. I don't need to get started on human rights or lack of labour safety.

I have to leave now, what others are showing you have fallen on deaf ears or blind eyes. Were you born like that, or grown to be like that?

Whatever, I'm wasting my time. Only typing this post to vent frustrations and improve my writing flow. You mean nothing to me. Afterall, indifference is the most effective tool of self-defence. If you hate someone, it means you still care. Good morrow, 'scholar'. I can't help you anymore. Amazing, one of the rare times I gave up on somebody like you.

So I won't repeat it no more.

I’d rather eat my soup with a fork
Or drive a cab in New York
Cause to talk to you is harder work
So what’s the point of wasting all my words
If it’s just the same or even worse
Than reading poems to a horse

Gave up, give in to your ridiculous ways. Stubborn, spoilt and impaired. To be materially blessed guarantees nothing about character. I give props to the person who is able to play nice in a world that's rough and tough. I find that if I lose control of myself, it's equivalent to have lost the battle completely. Though I do feel the urge to show physical violence, I shall not resort to that, though I do feel that if we were ever caught in such a situation, I can take you. Out, that it. (: I might be small, but don't underestimate me. I do know what to do, and as long as you're not those ladies who wrestle on wwe (shit show, btw) or something, you're not much of a threat either. If we both go down, you're going down first. Ah well, physical violence is not the answer, that we should be matured enough to know. As much as I do have the ability to make you cry like a limping puppy, I choose not to. So, don't shit with me. Karma's a bitch. Alas, I shall be more civilised than you, since you've already proven to be otherwise, I see I have the upper hand. Strength, I shall always have control over myself. Since I do receive very helpful advice from people, it is possible that I can adapt, or to live in a bubble, and to remain true to myself without letting you walk all over me like this. What I lack in physical strength, I shall make up for it with brains, wit, intelligence (omg, I'm so proud of myself), endurance and communication skills. Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about myself anymore, cuz you clearly have none of the above.

Many had hoped that you would learn, but no, you didn't. Did you even try? If I did something wrong, I do try my best. So, you're actually given many chances by many people. Unwittingly, you threw them all away. Go back to preschools, you barely know your ABCs - Attitude, Best and Compassion.

I'm sorry I can't change the world's perception or your attitude, or lack thereof. - Sniggers - Ah, it's much to be desired. My A maths results might suck, but then, why do I feel it's much easier to change that than an attitude? Consequences, remember that. I cannot allow myself to stoop to your level, we all know I'm too good for that.

Reading Poems to a Horse.

If you're the Chinese person, it's a metaphor, like 对牛弹琴.

Sure you might be able to read those four words, but you don't really get it do you?
Slammed, before being slapped, and now, Good-Bye. Kisses.

♥Peace out♥

Disclaimer: I've never specifically said who, so don't jump to conclusions, ya?

For nice and nasty readers alike ... (References from Dictionary.com)

Sporadic (adj.):
1. (of similar things or occurrences) appearing or happening at irregular intervals in time; occasional: sporadic renewals of enthusiasm.
2. appearing in scattered or isolated instances, as a disease.
3. isolated, as a single instance of something; being or occurring apart from others.
4. occurring singly or widely apart in locality: the sporadic growth of plants.

Paradox (noun):
1. a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
2. a self-contradictory and false proposition.
3. any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature.
4. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.

Egoistic (adj.):
1. pertaining to or of the nature of egoism.
2. being centered in or preoccupied with oneself and the gratification of one's own desires; self-centered

Egocentric (adj.):
1. having or regarding the self or the individual as the center of all things: an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes.
2. having little or no regard for interests, beliefs, or attitudes other than one's own; self-centered: an egocentric person; egocentric demands upon the time and patience of others.

Indifference (noun):

1. lack of interest or concern: We were shocked by their indifference toward poverty.
2. unimportance; little or no concern: Whether or not to attend the party is a matter of indifference to him.
3. the quality or condition of being indifferent.
4. mediocre quality; mediocrity.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Secondary School Life, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, Teen Angst

Thursday was wonderful while it lasted .. all the way to 12am. It was as if, as if somehow I knew .. I knew .. today was going to be the biggest shit ever. And shit not in a good way.

Today's friggin fked from the start. Woke up to pathetic results, worst I've ever gotten, and then to upset people, then to the pathetic musical training with Fanny yelling at me when I'm already demoralised. Feels as though all these torture took me by the flanks first, then worked inwards to my demented mind, damaged nerves and you guessed it, a broken heart. Not in THAT way la .. think so much for what.

If I were to see a doctor for this, my conflicting complaints would look like this:

1) Hysterics
2) Blankness
3) Worry
4) Panic
5) Concern
6) Couldn't-care-less-ness
7) Pain
8) Temptation to swear and kill someone
9) Frustration
10) Laughing like a hyena/lunatic
11) Tears falling the next moment
12) Mental and Physical Instability
13) Optimism
14) Pessimism
15) Wanting to yell at the guy who thinks it's very funny to say "OI CONSTANCE YOU CRY ARH!"
16) A mess inside my head
17) Smiling for no reason
18) Giving a black face to a lot of people
19) Having the least normal behaviour (as usual) people cry, go quiet, laugh, complain, rant, shut off etc. and i do everything. smartass me, so versatile.
20) Encouraged and Discouraged

Har .. and they're all not the same :p. Damn, it's very difficult to understand someone like me I am sure of that. Sharon's already confused, and I have no idea if I'm in the right state to talk to anyone. Just blasting the music, watching leaves and sitting in a corner and finally admitting Fanny might be getting on my nerves, but I forgive her, cuz I don't have to do as much as her.

Yes shit is shit, and shit happens in life.

life is shitty, so i might as well give you some shitty meanings here. okay, it's so shitty i don't even bother to do some shitty linking. im in deep shit. (References from Dictionary.com) ... shitionary.

flanks (noun):
1. the side of an animal or a person between the ribs and hip.
2. the thin piece of flesh constituting this part.
3. a slice of meat from the flank of an animal.
4. the side of anything, as of a building.
5. Military, Navy. the extreme right or left side of an army or fleet, or a subdivision of an army or fleet.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Questions, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst

hey ya'll.. i'm back, that is if you're still there, by the way the title above totally reflects what I will be typing. Fear is a thing with forty-eyes, and from the hours of 7 to 11, the fear's real and larger than life. Thriller night, I know .. just about as scary as a little boy spending the night with Michael Jackson. (disclaimer: no offence mj, just kidding)

Most recently i have developed a form of claustrophobia. And recently is actually half an hour ago.

Sorry if you all happened to be the one that i disturbed in the past weeks. If you got this treatment, ha too bad! HEH HEH HEH. oh well, you wanna be my friend right?

I'm sure you guys know why is this girl running around like a train that's lost control. Lord if You love me You'll rescue me now. Please. Knock me out, anything, just get it over and done with.

Am i for a dose of retalin?

If you have no idea what that is, ever heard Billie Joe from Green Day singing "soda pop and retalin, no one ever died for my sins in hell". Okay you haven't. Retalin is a medicine used to treat hyperactivity, except that the one i suffer from isn't the one like my brother is constantly experiencing.

It's a lot deeper that that. Ever felt like being on crazy clockwork and going tick tock tick tock on a time bomb? Yes, that's what i'm getting. I feel the panic rushing through my veins, and my eyes are wide open though i should be sleepy by now. Tick tock, watch the time on my radar, you're losing it.

I hate this, i want to concentrate on studying. I could, last time though .. I could bury myself with a textbook, you know, jump into an open grave and let the textbooks pile. Or I could use the very thick amaths text to hit my sardonic head with. (re: sardonic = mocking. yes my sanity is becoming an insult to mankind)

Or i could distract myself with some TV, newspapers, the Net, friends, i love you people.. now i can't be left alone. I am claustrophobic because ..

Because.. I'm starting to fear loneliness. Yes, that's a fact. The house is empty, and I don't like it like this. You can't understand this! You just can't! I'd give anything for my brother and mother to come back. Come on home! Nag at me! Annoy me!

I'm not an attention seeker. Really, haters, if you thought so, you don't know me. Something is wrong and I know it. I'm aware. I feel only the cold rush of air through the steely window and the fan. It's not boredom, save me from myself. I want to hang out at Stephanie's, if this can cure this fear.

I'm doing anything to fill up the house ..and and keep myself occupied. It's too silent, too empty, too blank. It musn't reflect my soul. It can't, i wouldn't allow it. DARN I WISH I WENT SWIMMING INSTEAD! WHO CARES IF I HAVE 2 DUMB PAPERS I'M GOING NUTS HERE.

I can't stand the silence, it's creeping up to me, leave me alone i tell you! SHOO! Don't make me set my Dad's outdated luo han on you! It bites and you're not going to like it.

Soo now we know my symptoms .. fear of being alone, fear of uncertainty, fear of a large and empty home, constant panic, u name it.

It's so stupid, trust me to do something stupid. At least watching That's So Raven took my mind off for a while. Thank God for SCV.

I seriously hate you now, why are you doing this to me. Bet you can't even understand it, you just won't. Congratulations, you picked the right idiot to mess with.

Be thankful if you don't have the foggiest idea when it comes to vocabulary (References from Dictionary.com)

Claustrophobia (noun) =>
an abnormal fear of being in enclosed or narrow places.

Sardonic (Adjective) =>
characterized by bitter or scornful derision; mocking; cynical; sneering: a sardonic grin.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Teen Angst

sometimes, i feel like going crazy. as much as this is the first time i have blogged in millenia, it's just that, maybe i do not belong on this planet. growing up kinda hurts, which sucks, because you learn the hard facts of life, the hard way. then again, i would rather be the intelligent person who is unable to laugh among happy people. would i?? crap, what a place to be stuck in. i think i take things much too seriously, wait, i DO. i should just enjoy what bit of childhood i have left. instead of wasting it away like that. but i can't. maybe it just takes a bit more for me to overcome. becuase of my personality i suppose. hopefully by sec 4, i would have got over this. and i will actually be the one saying " this is how it is ". just one of my emo moments i suppose. as much as i think i have actually left a bad impression with clarissa, and i am going to do sth abt it, btw.



do i actually want to be with them? please forgive my rants, then again it is a blog. sometimes, what people say affect me, to a great extent. and yet, somehow, i am sometimes happy and proud of myself that i have not changed myself to obey their requirements of a person who is socially correct. i pride my crushed confidence-self on that. i do believe that it is partly the "expectations" of them and my self that is 'weird' that is somewhat responsible..

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Questions, Teen Angst, To be a Child

flying fudge, yes that's the fancy name for the f word. :) ever since i accidently said the f word during lit class. I could've sworn i heard it in my head. honest. yeppers. well, that's what happens when u spend one week cooped in a room with potty-mouths like sathia and darren and stress-loaded weeks and YEARS of stress which takes a toll on you, you know.



recently, i've been pissed by a lot of thangs. most recently, a few minutes ago, by my parents. and one second ago. and its still going on now. bloody hell. don't they know the difference between a computer & a notebook?!



1. i'm not allowed to bring the laptop into my room or anywhere else other than the bloody living room. why? cuz i'm gonna go chat in secrecy in my locked room, which is nt even locked by the way.



2. that is the reason why my mom was reluctant to get the notebook.



WELL, this is my argument, P.O.V , of which is probably nonsensical, illogical, not worth listening to, and going to be ignored.

Labels: CCA, Darkness, Family, Quirks, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst

exam fever... i've got to get rid of my sleep-4-2-hrs every time i nap routine. It's killing me. haiii... stress stress ~ i wanna knock my head whenever i can't do a'maths, how the hell am i gonna finish all the topics??? ARRRRGH



feeling down lately i guess. i did some record-breaking stuff i'd thought i'd never do. can't remember and don't wish to remember. plus, i honestly wonder when will be the time when i'm gonna lose my top at those that i'm really pissed off at. i hope i'd never do it, that's just gonna make my life worse. until now, i've been trying to survive the evil ones. u know it's bad when you have interesting scenarios in your head like... 1. wearing one of those chopstick-thingies mythili and classy ladies and western stereotypes of Chinese ladies have in their bun-up hair. Like a knight, or ninja if you will, i don't know, brandishing his sword and sticking it into their opponents mouth. haha, better, a toilet brush. i would be so honoured to brush their teeth for them with a toilet brush. anyways, either i think i'd like to stick the chopstick, or give it to the evil one so it can kill itself.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Questions, Teen Angst, To-do list

identity-finder, half-thinker, thought-translater, life-pacer, adversary-fighter, grown-wiser, subtle-humour, nail-biter, indulgent-appreciator, pragmatic-dreamer, irony-murdered, unglamourous-puss, rocket-bunny

october 1st, sixteen, libran, singapore, tutor, christian, student, daughter, sister, friend, writer, artist, teenager, life, love

corny in a paradigm where sense and non sequiturs go together, taking it in like vanilla ice cream on a banana split, or sand on a boot. whichever goes.

Adelina Anjelica Cassandra Clarissa Daniel Esther E-von Geraldine Hairil HongWei Huiyi Jasmin Jasmine Jay Joseph Kenneth Marlyna Mythili Nadrah Samuel Sharon Sisi Shawn Stephanie Szeyuan Tivona YongQuan SHAKIRA Bare Feet JSS ELDDS

intricate-archiver

credit-or