Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRwQlxCmenk&feature=related

Kylie Minogue: Did it again (1997)

One of the best chereographed concept vids with great music.

To the lovely darling Steph.L who FINALLY tagged me! Ha! I knew I was loved enough to receive this. - hugs self - This is going around pretty well ... might be one of the biggest blog specials going around the net. Wow, all the Stephanies I know aren't mean bitches, so I love em' too.

You're dying to find out my deepest, darkest secrets to self discovery. Come one, you know you are. Oh yeah, I'm not gonna expose all my secrets like a splash tabloid story, so you gotta be smart and figure out my ambigous words. I'm not telling it all baby.

1. How long will you wait for someone you love?

When my patience exceeds me. So far, it's never failed me, and I doubt (like never!) it would fail me. So, go figure out what I said.

2. What do you want to do now?

Be my best self, and take a stroll down the wet after-rain Singapore streets with no one else but you. If it starts raining, I'll pull on my jacket and share my umbrella with you. I'm sweet, I know. There will be wet leaves on the ground, nice-smelling trees above, and no one in the world is there to look upon us in our raw selves except for you and I, and the lamps that provide minimal light in the cool air. We can talk about anything, do anything, and people would be asleep, so they can't judge us with their eyes literally closed, though they usually do.

3. What will you be doing at 6pm?

Tomorrow? Swimming. On weekdays, slacking at home after musical or school. Dumb qn, I'm gonna replace you!

4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?

Never. NEVER. N-E-V-E-R. nunca!
Simply because, to hate is a very strong feeling of duh ... hatred. It's practically next to indifference. If you feel hatred for a person, how can that be a friend? You feel annoyed, pissed off, but never hatred. It's as simple as that. If I hate you, you're not my friend. But I don't do that to my friends. I'm just angry at how you're behaving, the effed situation, but not you yourself. You can't choose family members, but you can choose you friends.

5. Where do you wish to die?

Not in any gruesome situation, like accidents, murders, hospitals etc. Eeeee. I'd like to die with a smile on my face, and in the arms of my loved one. And definitely not in front of someone who will freak out and die when they see me die. I know, my disappearance in the world will totally cause people to freak out and die.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after rain?

Yes I totally do. Never fails to cheer me up that there's always hope glimmering beyond the grey skies. If I could catch one, and follow it till it's end before it disappears, I'd keep it in a little glass jar and release it when I choose to for different people. And also for underpriviledged people. I know, siao fantasy, but I've always wanted to do that since pri.sch.

7. What impossible things to do you wish to do?

a) Meet Shakira, like seriously meet her. Not just 2 seconds of OMG I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH AND IF YOU TOUCH MY HAND I'M NEVER GONNA WASH IT EVER AGAIN!

b) Go to the most undiscovered places of the world at anytime with anyone I choose to.

c) Write a name across the sky, in a huge cornfield (and make people think it's crop circles made by aliens with a huge crush on you oooooh ~) .. etc. My imagination decides.

d) All of the above and anything my crazy mind comes up with. I'd like to do whatever I want to do.

8) Your darkest secret?

Alright ... shhh ... here comes ... I think I'm smarterer than you ... Okay! xP what else want me to say?!

9) Are you happy with your life now?

Can serve for some improvements, but good enough. I'm not complaining now. I'm far better off than real-life cases of misery that I know about.

10) What would you do if your crush asked you out?

Check if he's lying. So hard to trust these days, eh? Since I am unable to provide pictures, let me paint one in your head. My heart will stop beating, my breathing slows to a stop in collected gasps, I will look down at my feet and the floor and see the outlines of my shoes. If I'm not noticing, the ends of my jaws will curl and my eyes regain liveliness. My hands will push whatever strands of hair behind my ear.

Then a sense of euphoria, I won't stop smiling, everything accelerates from inside of me when the world comes to a stop. It would be like, our time travel sequence from musical ... spinning 5 times and ending up in a happy heap. I can feel nothing but the warmth flooding through my veins and the excitement that takes away sleep.

I can't look at you, I won't look at you. If you look closely, the look on my face will be the equivalent of the eighth wonder of the world. "yes". When you're gone, the cycle repeats with interludes of "OMG I'M THE FRIGGING LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD AREN'T YOU JEALOUS?! WOOOOTS!" And I can't stop bouncing up and down and singing love anthems and thanking God. "Read my lips, I'm into you, I'm into you!" - Kylie Minogue Don't mind me, I'm practising narrative now in a simple way. but the essence is there.

But of course, every situation is different. Plus, I haven't made a lot of mistakes with crushes before, at least not as bad as some that I know of. My crush better like every part of me, for I have a reason for everything.

11) Describe your other half

Wanna know? My other half is ... ME! I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful it's true!!!! - goes off tune -

12) What will you do when you fall in love with your best guy/girl friend?

Let things fall together. I'd know what to do, even if I don't, something will happen and we'll follow what is written on history-to-be-made.

13) What feeling do you hate the most?

Can't decide ... the negative ones that I'm unable to control. Yeah, that's it, when I'm unable to control myself or the things I want to control.

14) What's the best day you ever had.

I had many of them, in different days, so I can't decide. x) Life's a buffet with a lot of classy confectioneries to choose from at the dessert platter. For one: to feel something wonderful never felt before, possible never by people you know. Isn't that the case for everyone of them? For something special to happen?

15) The most important thing in Life

Love. It is the power that is the driving force behind everything. God, family, friends, values, etc. we find them important because love makes us feel that way and thus it creates the spur for the us puny humans to be able to do things beyond our imagination.

16) Who do you hope to always be there for you?

Isn't it obvious? Everything I mentioned above.

17) Do you find life meaningless?

Read this blog, there are times when I have, times where I haven't. Since I'm in a positive mood now, I shall keep my words for a memory. We all have a part to play, which is why God gave us a role in someone or our lives. He didn't give us noseholes to breathe for nothing, so we gotta put His gifts to use, means if He has something in stall for us, life will always have a meaning, no matter how hopeless it gets. Otherwise, we wouldn't even be born. Nobody is ever a mistake to begin with.

Even my pathetic uncle, he sucks, but his sole reason for living is probably to be a comfort to my grandad that there's been a male heir to ensure continuity in the family line (yeah he's the old China kind). Therefore, in this twisted manner, his life wasn't completely meaningless, though it gave my grandpa headaches, which I feel he should be waiting for karma to bite his ass in ... maybe a few years time?

18) Who do you love the most?

I LOVE YOU MY DEAR READER! MUACKS! COME ON BABY, KISSES! oh my, look what hanging out with the same group of people day after day does to you.

19) Craziest thing (s) you ever did?

I did so many of them, you'll die hearing everything. So, I'm just gonna tell you one or two.

My patience stretched beyond me. That's one. One way in which this was displayed: to look for something in Chameleon, I poured out every box in the whole shelf into a basket to look for that something. Didn't find it, but found something close. Spent 2 hours and my neck and eyes hurt a lot. Bought it. Then, the person I gave that something to lost in a matter of minutes. Wait, there's more. I was okay with it and didn't freak out, though the person was super apologetic.

20) What's your greatest wish?

So many .. Personally to do well for O's single digit! Improve myself as a artist eg. by rocking the musical. Improve myself as a person and make everyone's lives better and to be able to reach out to people far less lucky than I.

21) Sweetest thing you ever did for someone?

By being me. Serious! It's the fact that i'm me that i could do it, and it came from the heart okay! I did lots of sweet stuff for people, so here's one: I cried along with a loved one who cried, because I couldn't stand the person so upset.

Instructions: Remove one qn, replace with another. Pick 8 lucky souls to get them to do this quiz and tag them in their chatbox to notify them.

Replaced question: Qn 3 is BAH! It's now:

How much would you do for a stranger that you've never met before?

And qn 16. New qn!:

What do you think is the most beautiful thing in the world/you have seen?

See so much more interesting! Oh well, it came from me. I don't always play within the rules. (:

My 8 victims (I trust that you will spread it around people that we know, so don't get upset if i didn't pick you, i wanted someone else to pick you)

1) Ng Hong Wei (senior-friend)
2) Zhang Huiyi (friend-batch/classmate)
3) Anjelica Goh (sec2junior-friend)
4) Shawn Lim (sec3junior-friend)
5) Hairil Iskandar (classmate/cca-friend)
6) Jasmin Lau (cousin)
7) Alvin Chew (primaryschoolclassmate-friend)
8) Current reader staring at the screen drooling at my blog. (randomperson)

It's pretty obvious that all 8 represent some kind of category in life, some sequence. So that's how to get it all spread out like butter. Watch for my tags!

Labels: Blogs, Family, Friends, Quirks, Real Life, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, To be a Child, What's up or new, WhatcausesJoy

Gosh .. I can't stand it when my mum talks loudly on the phone when I don't want her to. The lappy's next to the phone only, and it seriously puts me off, like when she swears at the table or brings the stress to dinner. God loves you when you don't have parents with such un-parent-becoming behaviour. :p, just scared her off when I was trying to fix the crappy earphones and the music blasted her off the chair. Yay!

I've gotta do up my schedule, do the camp, revision, homework, musical etc. Lots of things to do, and when I get home, I'm not in the mood for anything strenous. Poor me I woke up late and turned up for Math an hour late with a new croaky voice. Just as well, most of the stuff taught are stuff I already know and it doesn't really matter if I miss it.

Seriously, I don't get some people. I think I understand what I need for Math very well, and clearly the lessons are only acting as a reminder for the basics to me, not like a guiding hand. So I'll take that in my stride, though I was clearly shocked, surprised and insulted when I went to the first Math compulsory lesson. Crap ... some people don't even get Sec 2 stuff, if that's what they're teaching.

But I like it as a refresher, kick-starter and some clarification. The scary part is, it's like, when you don't know what to do for simple (really really simple) elementary math, you're most likely gonna flunk O's, and you still don't give a damn to listen and just think of skipping without being found out ... you're gonna end up nowhere. And they just don't get it. Oh well, it seems as though they're not very smart already, and trying to act smart. Puh-lease! Teachers are wasting their time over you people, lots of us desperately need appropriate help. - rolls eyes -

So now when I'm coated in a disgusting layer of grease while trying to cool off, I reminisce the journey (not the propaganda one) of musical. Right from doing 'Divorce' for the acting segment, to singing 'Tu' for the singing segment for the auditions. Now, my singing parts are all recorded and I truly realise how much work is done to singers' voices, which is why they suck singing live. Just when I thought we were doing fine, StephK has to do cut, paste and tweaking. Ouchhh. Byebye pride.

Honestly, sometimes, I just wish people would stop complaining about the musical and how "ELDDS is getting all the attention boohoo! The musical isn't going to be a success anyway and maybe they suck!!!". It's our turn now, and it's also a platform to summarise what your cca is about. We're trying to cope with that, and we got lots more stuff to do. So... it's much appreciated for some quiet time.

We're really tired and it's not very enjoyable to listen to such crap. We (besides the media people) go home at 7. Do you? So ... don't say another word. Bet you're opening your mouth in indignance now, but let's give each other some space to breathe and some air for encouragement. Maybe it's looking at the script that makes you feel this way, we felt the same too, but never judge anything by the cover. You haven't seen the results yet. Yet. Cut us some slack, and we won't give you the motivational cheer or wish you'd cross the yellow line and get knocked by the MRT. - imagines that happening - I'm a sadist when I'm tired. Giving credit to Shawn for this line.

So to whoever who reads this, trust us. Can? Ke yi ma? ¿Está eso bien?

It deeefeeecult, you get deeefeeecult?

If we do our own parts right and coordinate, with constant positive support, we'll do a show that exceeds your expectations and blow you off your seats to a standing ovation. Then, you'd be really sorry for saying such crap and try to hide how embarassed you actually are. Heh heh!

But I'm being serious here, even if you're my friend, if you shake your head and say 'No', you'd make me really upset. So take this as a warning just in case I explode. Don't put us down, you can't. We've worked too hard for this, it's been more than a decade since the last musical, and we really wanna do this well so that we can move on from here as success stories. Shut up if you won't appreciate. Life cannot wait for people like you.

La vida es esperanza

So in the name of the above foreign language words, I shall do an analysis.

These days have been strenous, and my ass is happy to touch a chair. NOT SHAWN! Even is he has gone from playing Joseph to playing Joseph's chair. Take this:

"Constance you must find interest in playing even the most mundane characters. You cannot be boring! You live for the audience" - Fanny

"LOOK AT ME! I'M AN EXCITING TREE! -sways with the breeze-" - Constance

It seems that I've taken my lessons well. Didn't go to waste eh.

Anyways, I spoke to StephK after today's practice. Good news for main cast, we're doing fine. Feels good to have almost everything down. Photoshoots, costumes, recording ... (:

Now i need to seriously put all the lines in my head, like sticking stuff with Superglue, rest well, arrange my schedule and work it all out, find my character and make it real fun. I've gotten over stumbling over my long lines. Fill up my MP3 and go out with some friends/family.

If I follow Steph's advice, yes I find myself having more fun. Though I need to do the cues and timings properly over and over again, breeeeathe correctly, mirror, lines, dramatise!

My character as Ng the teacher. Please give the full name. Anyone?

She's one-third typical teacher, one-third Mary Poppins, and one-third plain nuts, as nuts as Marlyna. All carried off with a touch of Chinese Calligraphy elegance and wisdom of the old, but still relevant. Okay, I sound like the government now. It's time to shut up. It's the fact that I'm gonna be the difference from the student characters that makes me stand out and spin the story I suppose. Connection, connection, connection. Must get the objective before each scene.

Typical Teacher: Well, educational and a bit tolerant of kids (ah well, they just wanna have fun) but doesn't get walked over. Modern and Miss-Lappenish. Lots of wisdom to impart. Fun. Teaches Chinese Calligraphy and History, so she's super knowledgeable and has lots of things to explain about. Always enthusiastic to make things less difficult for people but knows the route to take. On for hands-on learning, NON-PBL-ISH. I don't wanna insult myself on this.

Mary Poppins: Prim, proper British lady. Firm and fun, and makes it entertaining to watch. Never does anything wrong "Practically Perfect in Every Way". Thing is, she does do some things that are not acceptable by other poeple, but she finds that its actually okay, and then insists in a quick way that nothing is wrong. "What do you mean, Mary Poppins would never do anything like that. End of conversation". Not strict, just firm. Spit-spot! Anything but boring! Knows how to have fun, but seems like having fun in a super matured way.

Nuts: Well, she can be as nuts as Marlyna, except in a different way. I can choose to complement or contrast the characters.

Complement => When Marlyna goes kiss-kiss, I can be as nuts as her in doing that.

Contrast => Or I can be umm ... yeah sure .. kiss-....kiss. Don't touch me Marlyna.

It does kinda work in developing character. We should totally try this.

Thing is, sometimes, I hate it when I make a remark and expect people to forget all about it, and they take it too seriously. To be honest, I had no idea how to do the kiss-kiss thing, so I just said I was grossed out. But why did Fanny have to make such a big deal out of it. It stressed me out even more and I couldn't get it right.

It's like, I'm the type who doesn't work well under negative pressure, so chill, let me relax so I can do my thing well. Isn't that too difficult to grasp? Apparently, many people have really pissed me off cos of this, which is why I'm eternally grateful to Steph (yes shawn having a crush on her is completely within my understanding now) She's ever so patient, and I find that I produce better results for her than Fanny. Like getting my recording done nicely, speaking my lines with 100% ms ng and charisma. Otherwise, I'll fumble the shit out of everything. I'm already the low-confidence and twiddly-fingers kind, so it really DOESN'T HELP.

When the rest are patient with me, give me encouragement, I feel like I could do anything not to let them down. Feel good about what I'm doing. You can't really explain it, but after doing a solo recording, to see Marlyna, Mangala give you the thumbs-up, and wondering Shawn really means his positive remark, you just feel on top of the world.

Fanny's very very not constant. Like, she's really nice, then really mean. nice when she shows that she cares, and mean when she's stressed up. "OI MAIN CAST! LINES!" I hate it when teachers make mistakes, then brush it off. And we get yelled at? That's crap!

And they don't always come on time, though they say "YOU HAVE TO BE HALF AN HOUR EARLY!". Can ... you should start camping in school, and we should come on the next day. Cuz that's how it frigging feels like. Stephanie, on the other hand, is well, the complete opposite. I guess that's why we love her. Fanny's already pissed everyone on set off, including the teachers. Bet we piss her off too. xP. The world goes in a circle. Relish every line, every moment you have on stage and in life.

I'm not gonna fail everyone else, including myself. Just follow my ABCs for everything. Be more sure of myself. If shit comes, I'm ready to take it with a spoonful of sugar. (but you can have it first, no one likes to eat shit)

I can act, sing, dance (barely), and I can give you exact meanings of words you've probably heard of. No that's References from Dictionary.com

Charisma (noun) plural:

1. Theology, a divine conferred gift or power.
2. a spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people
3. the special virtue of an office, function, position, etc., that confers or is thought to confer on the person holding it an unusual ability for leadership, worthiness of veneration, or the like.

Labels: CCA, Essence of Sprouting, Quirks, Real Life, Secondary School Life, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, What's up or new, WhatcausesJoy

Alright, this few days has been a wonderful turn for the musical. Now just gotta get the studying down.

The costumes are just fine, and Nichole's been very patient with my hair. Ah, she's ever so sweet. Though she probably feels like using the garden shears on my hair. Props kill.

Speaking of costumes, I've got different ones for photoshoots, stage and video and rehearse in my grey funeral costume (jss uniform). And yeah, it's less painful when i refer to it as a costume.

Gawsh, sometimes, life's a miserable lukewarm cup of milo. It's almost 25 deg., not hot and not cold and you just wanna puke it all out rather than feel the unstirred milo powder chalk your teeth and line your throat till you feel like puking.

Like the incident of Ms Phua (the real one, since we all know there can be only one of her, for obvious reasons ...). Thing is, it became my prop, and we were careful with it. Mangala picked it up from next to my bag and it just fell apart. She didn't tug at it or anything, just picked it up in her hand and that frigging bad quality shit of a plastic thread fell apart. And the smooth stone beads, tiny metal beads just rolled off the steps. And we stood there staring, our mouths agape, and Mangala's mouth was the size of Texas and with the most I-don't-believe-this face. And when i told Ms Phua, I got lectured "oh you must keep your props properly"

Like, it's not like I threw it on MRT train tracks right! Hmm .. maybe an elephant sat on it, then some European soccer team used it as a soccer ball, and it fell into a trumpet and game out through the other side ...

Of course I handled it with care and put it next to my bag WITH OTHER PROPS AND THEY DIDN'T FALL APART LIKE SOME FLIMSY UNRELIABLE NECKLACE. WTH!

Really, I examined the thing last night while trying to fix it (when I could be doing script memorising) and the part that fell apart was weak, (well, duh). Too bad I can't put everything back properly. Life sucks, what if I can't put it back properly or it falls apart again in front of her. See, "you must take care of your props". Tsk, I might even have to get another one and it's gonna be my fault. Joy. Waste money. It better not have any sentimental value, for I have none of that in my purse. Suay!

Really, what can you do when something bad is about to happen is just passed like "passing the parcel" game and it ends in your hands, though it's clearly none of your business?

Labels: CCA, Darkness, Secondary School Life

Okay! You know what happens when you put a bunch of stressed-up jokers on the set for musical. I mean, with the script, the propaganda, the Fanny (do not think sick), the propaganda, the Stephanie (stop drooling shawn), the propaganda, the main cast-chorus, the propaganda, the crap storyline, the propaganda, the costumes and makeup, and the propaganda ... well the list is never ending.

Seriously, it's gone to the point where it's gone to entertainment value. Here's why:

The following will be explained in quotes. Memorable moments call for memorable lines. As is with drama and literature.

(in no particular order cos i'm not biased) Directions: Main Cast Chorus Teachers-on-set Instructors Outsiders Publicisers (well, actually ... there's only one of them, the lady who spoke to the whole school as an address to the whole school on the last day of school. Wonder who?)



Why Marlyna loves Mariah Carey.

"TOUCH MY BODAY! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN ~ (looks seductively at Mangala)" - Marlyna

Shawn gets special direction (and special attention) from all the adults. Omg, we are all so jealous.

"Shawn I'm gonna throw my sticks at you!" - Fanny

"Boy! Over here! Girl! don't be stiff! - refers to everyone as "boy", "girl", "student", or "teacher". - points to Shawn - Ah Shawn! Look forward! Shawn, don't need to check their poses! Shawn! Hold the basketball like that!" Shawn! ... (you get the point) - Photographer (who only remembers Shawn's name and correctly too! wow!)

Mangala's full name is Mangalambikai (oh my I got it right). But don't laugh if people get names wrong, it ain't funny. So stop laughing.

"Ah you! Mangalarice!" - Photographer

Anjelica is bored. She peels off the paint in the God-forsaken mug for the gardening scene. Constance is mean as Anjel peels off layer after layer of dried paint. When you're bored, you'd rather do something gross to entertain yourself. Or say something saracstic when you're pissed.

"Wow ... judging from all the layer of paint, this mug is probably as old as ... (fill in the blanks) many possiblilities so you can't really kill me on this

Shawn sings a solo. Start laughing. Original: Gotta work together to make the team stick!

"Gotta work together to make the team sick!" ... "I got it wrong, didn't I?" - Shawn

Anjelica ... is ... well ...

"I'm horny. Hey baby ~ - Anjelica <- This perv looked up my skirt. IMA GET YOU FOR THIS.

Mangala's mean too, but ... it's not really hard to tell the truth.

"Chinese teachers usually wear makeup and not shave their armpits"

Shawn has a crush on StephK, the singing instructor. You may stop shivering now.

"call me, or rather call stephanie to call me" - Shawn

"Shawn likes older women?" - Anjelica (well, duh.)

Marlyna put on a ghastly obiang cheongsam.

"(censored) Where the (censored) is my (censored) handphone?!"
"Why are you swearing so much?" - Farahin
"I'm in a (censored) pink dress!" - Marlyna

Ah .. life as a lookalike. Gosh, I never liked to look the same as other people.

"Constance! You look like Ms Phua! - gasps -", "Omg, I thought that was Miss Phua standing next to me", "You're like a minature Ms Phua (har? isn't she miniature enough?), "But nicer. (thanks) ... - Basically almost everyone present

"Really? Gee .. I don't know ... -scratches everywhere- - Constance

I'm mean! HEARTBREAKER!

"Maybe we can go for break with .. say .. Steph tommorow?" - Constance

"But no Stephanie tomorrow ... " - Shawn

"I know, just trying to making you sad." - Constance

It's very clear on what her stand is on beauty.

"Beauty isn't worth the pain - Constance (after getting skin peeled off in a painful manner from wearing heels)

"Huh?" - Ms Phua

Ms Queenie. Dance Instructor. The perfectest perfection. Or so she seems to claim.

"Who's Queenie?" - Anjelica

"Dance instructor. Diiiiiiva." - Constance

"Really? Even her name sounds diva-ish. Queenie. Lol." - Anjel

"Yeah ... - flips hair - I'm Queenie! Away you commoners!" - Constance

To have self-confidence is to love yourself.

"You wanna kisssss me! You think I'm preeeety!" - Marlyna

"I'm irresistable! I'm CUTE ... and HOTANDPRETTYANDSEXY!" - Marlyna

"It's good to live in self-denial" - Shawn

Nothing like a bit of real drama.

"Ohhh i think I'm gonna faint ... - falls back - - shawn not paying attention - WOAHHHH! - nearly crashes before Shawn's heroic, albeit blur rescue -

- Nichole. (yes this is the way to spell her name. and it's the first time Shawn forgot to catch her ... distracted by stephanie lah. oh wait, only fanny was present, which means ... ?)

Improvisation Impromptu!

"From my lungs through to my nose, my mucus is ready! ready to .. -ARHCHOO! - Shawn (to the tune of 'Hot') : The Mucus Song

"As WAN!! WAN JURONG!!! Giving back what's been given. Wow ... a song for Mr Wan." Shawn (to the tune of 'One') : The Wan Song

New word invented. Well I'm the smarterer than you XD

"I'm the cuterest!" - Nadrah

Teachers .. all they do is criticise.

"These kids are so evil. Gossip-mongers" - Mr Riduwan

Teachers .. they should confess more often.

"Well ... we were evil once" - Stephanie

Shawn loves her. As usual 2 that remark.

"3 CHEERS FOR STEPHANIE!" - Shawn

Only hear the right stuff. (: More coming up, stay tuned.

Till next time, folks. I'm dry of brain juice and memory now. The makeup sucked up everything in my head. Which is why girls who usually wear makeup a lot .. A LOT .. aren't the brightest creatures. Hmm .. who do you know wears a lot of makeup? Don't point fingers arh, yes Julia Gabriel stint-ers?

So I pose the question. What's worse? A smart bimbo, or a dumb one? Trust me, an encounter with a smart bimbotic really changes your perspective.

For more memories, ROFLs and complaining (sorry, feedbacking) about makeup, here's shawn.

http://woodchuckwoodchuck.blogspot.com/

Nothing cheem in this entry. Sorry to disappoint, but it's what you get when you hang out with musical monkeys for a few days straight.

Labels: CCA, Friends, Quirks, Real Life, Secondary School Life, What's up or new, WhatcausesJoy

Your view on yourself:You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues.
Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.



Omg ... I'm so proud of myself - wipes tear away -

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Labels: Essence of Sprouting, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off

I can't help it if my mum doesn't see the times that I study. How would I know if I have studied in school, and refuse to study anymore at home when she's around? Stroke of no-luck. I'm so ignoring her now, if I talk to her, I'm gonna lose control of myself. Of course I admit that there are times when I choose to slack off, but really, most of the studying is done when she isn't around.



I want to swear my mouth off again, for the tenth time this week.



This is just wonderful, my parents discussing what to do about me.

My life rocks. You must be so envious or rolling off your chair now.



Sometimes, it's just a whole load of shit, and you get nothing in the end. To put in effort, try to juggle and do everything right, and nothing is done. Worst still, done wrong.



5 minutes ago, I've lost my temper as of again. Crap, I'm losing the ability to form complete sentences and there's a headache drumming the back of my skull. Anyone who tries to talk to me now, will only make me fly off the handle.



Resist. Endure. Resist. Endure. Ommmmm ~



God I hate my brother now. Wonderful, I've just lost it again, and told my brother to shut up his mouth. It feels as if, I'm just letting out this stream of emotions in one scream. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Who cares if "your son is a bubbly boy full of wit and charm". Watch my foot go up your ass if I hear someone say this. He isn't that academically capable, and definitely lazier than I was. Which is why ... Life's all screwed up for me now. I hate it when my brother tries to act smart bout everything. If you say he's cute now, even if you're Mythili, I am going to yell at you or throw my stick at you, like Fanny. Don't piss me off now, I'm a soon-to-be-exploding volcano.

I've remained dormant ever since getting the results.



Great, my mum's trying to be all concerned about me now. All I want to do is just shut off and die. Kill me now. Think I should try to walk into a blind spot onto the road. Bang! and I'll forget everything.



Smart ass. I've only told my mum today, that I failed four subs. Wanna know which ones? Enjoy my pain, I'm hanging it out like linen that stupid upstairs-neighbours can dirty. I failed my Maths and Sciences. Ha ha ha!

Like wtf, I screwed up, for the millionth time. Ah well, not even English and Lit can cover my ass now. My L1R5's probably the same number as the years Lee Kuan Yew has been in power, which he still is now, by the way.



I have chosen not to tell my Mum until today.

Labels: CCA, Darkness, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst

Second post for today, since I'm in a fairly unpleasant mood and I gotta vent it out to have a good night's sleep. Or even some revision. Sporadic renewals of pissiness since last year. My patience exceeds my expectations, time and again. Sweet Mother, refreshing oranges, I do love you so. I sense a headache coming ... The following of this post shall be explained in a non-reporting style, unlike my previous post on musical training.

I do adore Shakira's songwriting skills for a reason you know, somehow I find that I am able to relate or find that her words ring true in many situations. So in the musical mood now haha ~

Poem to A Horse - Shakira (check it out on Youtube or something, the tune brings out the meaning even more)

You’re too far to bring you close
And too high to see below
just hangin’ on your daily dose
I know you never needed anyone
But the rolling papers for your grass
How can you give what you don’t have?

The context of the song is about drug addicts, and well, their addictions (if you don't know, grass is what they call a drug to be smoked). Somehow, it can be applied to individuals that aren't really on literally drugs, but drugs of their own kind, that might be of their own undoing, which happened to be a product of their creation in the monster of their minds.

They can be so ... so self-deluded in their own world, so self-centred, egoistic, ego-centric (ha! learnt this word from debate). Their ditzy illusions have unfortunately blinded them, and they can't really see the truth, even though it's right smack in front of them. Everyone is aware, except for those living in lala land. It pains me to think that they think that I am the one who is hopelessly blur and confused, and too nice to care. Oh sweet irony, open the eyes that your mother blessed you with. You are the one who is unaware, even though you think you're oh-so-smart.

It's as if, without being a total friggin' ass, you can't pass a day. No words can express my sympathy, I know not whether to feel any anger, or pity.

How can you give what you don't have?

You keep on aiming for the top
And quit before you sweat a drop
Feed your empty brain with your hydroponic pot
You start out playing with yourself
You get more fun within your shell
Nice to meet you but I gotta go my way

It's difficult for me not to feel sorry for you. When will you wake up? Somehow, I do have a nagging feeling that your attitude will lead to incompetence, which will eventually pull you down in a world that is more unforgiving. Cross the limits! Come on, nothing will happen, as far as you are concerned. Sweetie, life isn't a bed of roses. Cliched, but the thorns shall slice into your flesh sooner or later, take caution. Go ahead, some of us might enjoy your pain. Not necessarily me, no matter how many times you've hurt me. To have a heart of gold ... is priceless nowadays. I'm not Mother Theresa, even though I do try to be rid of negative emotions.

Nice to meet you, but I gotta go my way.

Chorus:

I’ll leave again
Cause I’ve been waiting in vain
But you’re so in love with yourself
If I say my heart is sore
Sounds like a cheap metaphor
So I won’t repeat it no more

For everyone, one must never judge them beforehand. Tried and tested, and many chances have been given, but unfortunately, it's hard to cooperate isn't it? I'm sick and tired already. You can be such a paradox, whenever you judge me. Ever heard of "LOOK WHO'S TALKING?"

As is Myanmar, a country brimming with precious stones, but they're all worthless when the junta squanders the cash away, ruining the people and the land. I don't need to get started on human rights or lack of labour safety.

I have to leave now, what others are showing you have fallen on deaf ears or blind eyes. Were you born like that, or grown to be like that?

Whatever, I'm wasting my time. Only typing this post to vent frustrations and improve my writing flow. You mean nothing to me. Afterall, indifference is the most effective tool of self-defence. If you hate someone, it means you still care. Good morrow, 'scholar'. I can't help you anymore. Amazing, one of the rare times I gave up on somebody like you.

So I won't repeat it no more.

I’d rather eat my soup with a fork
Or drive a cab in New York
Cause to talk to you is harder work
So what’s the point of wasting all my words
If it’s just the same or even worse
Than reading poems to a horse

Gave up, give in to your ridiculous ways. Stubborn, spoilt and impaired. To be materially blessed guarantees nothing about character. I give props to the person who is able to play nice in a world that's rough and tough. I find that if I lose control of myself, it's equivalent to have lost the battle completely. Though I do feel the urge to show physical violence, I shall not resort to that, though I do feel that if we were ever caught in such a situation, I can take you. Out, that it. (: I might be small, but don't underestimate me. I do know what to do, and as long as you're not those ladies who wrestle on wwe (shit show, btw) or something, you're not much of a threat either. If we both go down, you're going down first. Ah well, physical violence is not the answer, that we should be matured enough to know. As much as I do have the ability to make you cry like a limping puppy, I choose not to. So, don't shit with me. Karma's a bitch. Alas, I shall be more civilised than you, since you've already proven to be otherwise, I see I have the upper hand. Strength, I shall always have control over myself. Since I do receive very helpful advice from people, it is possible that I can adapt, or to live in a bubble, and to remain true to myself without letting you walk all over me like this. What I lack in physical strength, I shall make up for it with brains, wit, intelligence (omg, I'm so proud of myself), endurance and communication skills. Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about myself anymore, cuz you clearly have none of the above.

Many had hoped that you would learn, but no, you didn't. Did you even try? If I did something wrong, I do try my best. So, you're actually given many chances by many people. Unwittingly, you threw them all away. Go back to preschools, you barely know your ABCs - Attitude, Best and Compassion.

I'm sorry I can't change the world's perception or your attitude, or lack thereof. - Sniggers - Ah, it's much to be desired. My A maths results might suck, but then, why do I feel it's much easier to change that than an attitude? Consequences, remember that. I cannot allow myself to stoop to your level, we all know I'm too good for that.

Reading Poems to a Horse.

If you're the Chinese person, it's a metaphor, like 对牛弹琴.

Sure you might be able to read those four words, but you don't really get it do you?
Slammed, before being slapped, and now, Good-Bye. Kisses.

♥Peace out♥

Disclaimer: I've never specifically said who, so don't jump to conclusions, ya?

For nice and nasty readers alike ... (References from Dictionary.com)

Sporadic (adj.):
1. (of similar things or occurrences) appearing or happening at irregular intervals in time; occasional: sporadic renewals of enthusiasm.
2. appearing in scattered or isolated instances, as a disease.
3. isolated, as a single instance of something; being or occurring apart from others.
4. occurring singly or widely apart in locality: the sporadic growth of plants.

Paradox (noun):
1. a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
2. a self-contradictory and false proposition.
3. any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature.
4. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.

Egoistic (adj.):
1. pertaining to or of the nature of egoism.
2. being centered in or preoccupied with oneself and the gratification of one's own desires; self-centered

Egocentric (adj.):
1. having or regarding the self or the individual as the center of all things: an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes.
2. having little or no regard for interests, beliefs, or attitudes other than one's own; self-centered: an egocentric person; egocentric demands upon the time and patience of others.

Indifference (noun):

1. lack of interest or concern: We were shocked by their indifference toward poverty.
2. unimportance; little or no concern: Whether or not to attend the party is a matter of indifference to him.
3. the quality or condition of being indifferent.
4. mediocre quality; mediocrity.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Secondary School Life, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, Teen Angst

Who gives a damn about High School Musical? Here's what you curious cats missed.

Preparations

I am not ready for singing/recording ...

Friends are always ever so sweet and helpful. Tips they have contributed:

1. Relax. If you don't, your voice cracks
2. Diaphragm singing
3. Lots of water (I went to the toilet the most, see i take advice seriously!!)
4. Drink at appropriate times (I went to the toilet less)
5. Take deep breaths before singing
6. Stand still

Take 1 Tuesday

We say hello to Stephanie Kwok the scriptwriter, songwriter for the first time, introductions are ... well ... strange. Mr Lam is freaked out, in case none of you saw, when she opera-ed her name.

Very pleasant experiences to come :)

Stephanie is proven to be very expressive, very patient, and fun. Love ya already.

Take 5

On the way to the Dance Studio, Stephanie sprains her foot, explaining why the bunch of us were late. Ouch... she tripped over a step.

Take 11

The other components of the musical, from the sports group, totally impressive. So totally pwned my pathetic performance as of then, you know, Fanny yelling at me before I could even open my mouth. They make me feel incompetent, and pressured to up performance. Considerably coordinated sports-inspired steps, worries Constance even more - sobs - .

They have a very very diva-ish instructor though. Check Shawn's blog for the priceless hair-flipping speech. Imagine this: "Ughhh! - pained expression - You people are not ... not beautiful!"

Take 24

We do scales and learn the songs, of which the notes are very high. I learn that I am terrified of missing cues, timings, tunes, etc. No problem with the notes though, but to really get the songs, I had to move to the rhythm .. ah well, there is a way to fix everything. To grasp the tune, I didn't really open my mouth, so it was kinda like mumbling to the paper, like what Ruth noted. But I'll get the tune first, to avoid embarassment.

Take 37

Everyone except for Anjelica, Marlyna and I leave. Anjelica and I learn and coordinate on the first song on the keyboard. Anjel tries to prevent flats, I get my timing.

Take 49

Constance tries the wayang Chinese opera for the first time. How the hell is it good?? Screechy pink-white face painted ladies/guys-trying-to-be-ladies. Laughing at me, Ng-s that seem never to end.

Marlyna is then left alone in the "torture chamber".

Take 67

11 to 12 AM. Constance stays up watching Chinese operas. Helpful, and not so helpful. Stuff are all in dialects, which is not Mandarin by the way. Helpful: Gui Men Dan (type of wayang character I'm supposed to do, is a matured, knowledgable lady, who brings out meaning of "Yuan" in elegance. Studied Mei Lan Fang's (a guy by the way, who is very good at playing girl characters) hand actions.

My mum thinks I'm weird.

But she doesn't understand Oman, which is a country, in the Middle East. Had to explain that to her too.

Stay tuned for Day 2.

Labels: CCA

Thursday was wonderful while it lasted .. all the way to 12am. It was as if, as if somehow I knew .. I knew .. today was going to be the biggest shit ever. And shit not in a good way.

Today's friggin fked from the start. Woke up to pathetic results, worst I've ever gotten, and then to upset people, then to the pathetic musical training with Fanny yelling at me when I'm already demoralised. Feels as though all these torture took me by the flanks first, then worked inwards to my demented mind, damaged nerves and you guessed it, a broken heart. Not in THAT way la .. think so much for what.

If I were to see a doctor for this, my conflicting complaints would look like this:

1) Hysterics
2) Blankness
3) Worry
4) Panic
5) Concern
6) Couldn't-care-less-ness
7) Pain
8) Temptation to swear and kill someone
9) Frustration
10) Laughing like a hyena/lunatic
11) Tears falling the next moment
12) Mental and Physical Instability
13) Optimism
14) Pessimism
15) Wanting to yell at the guy who thinks it's very funny to say "OI CONSTANCE YOU CRY ARH!"
16) A mess inside my head
17) Smiling for no reason
18) Giving a black face to a lot of people
19) Having the least normal behaviour (as usual) people cry, go quiet, laugh, complain, rant, shut off etc. and i do everything. smartass me, so versatile.
20) Encouraged and Discouraged

Har .. and they're all not the same :p. Damn, it's very difficult to understand someone like me I am sure of that. Sharon's already confused, and I have no idea if I'm in the right state to talk to anyone. Just blasting the music, watching leaves and sitting in a corner and finally admitting Fanny might be getting on my nerves, but I forgive her, cuz I don't have to do as much as her.

Yes shit is shit, and shit happens in life.

life is shitty, so i might as well give you some shitty meanings here. okay, it's so shitty i don't even bother to do some shitty linking. im in deep shit. (References from Dictionary.com) ... shitionary.

flanks (noun):
1. the side of an animal or a person between the ribs and hip.
2. the thin piece of flesh constituting this part.
3. a slice of meat from the flank of an animal.
4. the side of anything, as of a building.
5. Military, Navy. the extreme right or left side of an army or fleet, or a subdivision of an army or fleet.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Questions, Secondary School Life, Teen Angst

Mhmm ... mid year exams are over! I've never been this happy for such a long time. Wednesday and Thursday are the days I'm gonna make it last. Carefree, exam-free, worry-free. Nice slogan for a sanitary pad that everyone wants. Okay I'm gross :p At least until the impending Mother Tongue O's 10 days from now.

Wednesday: I had the last exam that the whole darn school had. Literature Paper 1 comprises of The Curious Incident and Unseen finishes at 11.25. Very, very unnerving during the exam, and thanks Mythili, Hafizah and Naomi for helping me out. Very nice of you to show concern, even though I usually don't show any. :)

Soo i was late for meeting Sharon and Stephanie for a girls' day out. Shopping and eating, no exams, what's not to like? Sakura was postponed to dinner, and it cost a friggin wallet-shrinking $27.80 per person for a buffet from 6 to 9. Made you jealous, didn't I? Mhmmm ...

Besides the fact that I'm the most stupid in the group for lugging a bag full of literature and chemistry around Orchard Road (yes, very stupid), I walked the slowest and talked the least, very unlike my usual self, I know. And yes, I was the most tired, since Stephanie couldn't sleep and sms-ed me at 1am, jolting me awake and asking me if I wanted blue socks.

It was all worth it, cuz I do foresee the day i'll have this much backbreaking fun will be in .. never.

Just as well, I tolerated the shitty service at Taka (You hear this, SHITTY) and the God-forsaken security guard at school. What's wrong with adults, seriously? Just cuz I'ma student (and not a foreigner) it doesn't make me less of a customer/human than a working adult or a lesser citizen right? (So gonna do ranting about this in another post) Sheesh. Oh well, I ain't gonna let you backward half-wits ruin my day. Gaggle of atrocious imbeciles, I bet your minute teeny weeny brain cells are so damn neurotic you don't even understand half the insults here. Congratulations, may your neurons never see the light of day, not that I saw any through your coarse speech in the first place. Guess what, I'm never going to be a bored security guard at a pathetic school, or a sorry old uncle sweating over a hot stove and serving noodles.
Both without any manners. I'm more than you people will ever accomplish, just wait and see. 10 years from now, that is if you live that long. (:

The stretch from Dhoby Ghaut to Orchard Road, we covered them. Okay, no way I'd be dead by now. Just some areas, including the upmarket ones.
Chanel, Gucci, Prada, Yves Saint Laurent, Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Louis Vuitton, made you girls jealous haha! If only the Periodic Table wasn't as challenging as memorising those names (:

Felt so out of place there, I'm too young and too poor and my hair isn't blonde enough. Guess you people should be smart enough to know what I mean. Wasn't too hot, and a bit too cold. Still, it was quite exhilarating and relaxing to walk down the half-wet city streets in the cool air. So I guess I'll just discuss the most fun we had.

HMV rocks! Best thing since sliced bread. Nahh, just best music store ever. 3 levels that appeal to my music-loving side. Gawsh ... They have all of Shakira's albums, including her Spanish language ones -squeals - All her wonderful works can be purchased in Singapore! I don't have to do online shopping or fly to some Latin country. Of course, it didn't mean I didn't stop to drool at other albums right. (Don't think too much) :p Quite satisfying to know the huge number of Shakira fans in S'pore, evidence from Oral Fixation Vol. 2 on the Most Wanted Shelf, her tour dvd on the main shelves and Love in the Time of Cholera soundtrack on no.7 top soundtracks. Mio Amor~Shakii

Lots and lots of clothes (but nothing bought). Just enjoying the streets at night. To look on the bright side, nature's power when the rainwater flooded the area outside the MRT station.

Our very fun visit will be chronicled in another post, probably a joint one. I can't upload pics to my lappy. Gonna make you so pissed at me HEH HEH.

Just doing you a favour (References from Dictionary.com)

Backward (adjective): behind in time or progress; late; slow

Imbecile (noun): 1. Psychology. a person of the second order in a former classification of mental retardation, above the level of idiocy, having a mental age of seven or eight years and an intelligence quotient of 25 to 50. 2.a dunce; blockhead; dolt.

(adjective): 3. mentally feeble. 4. showing mental feebleness or incapacity. 5. stupid; silly; absurd.

Neurotic (adjective): 1. pertaining to the nerves or to nerve disease; neural: no longer in technical use. (noun) an emotionally unstable individual

Minute (adjective): 1. Exceptionally small; tiny
2. Beneath notice; insignificant
3. Characterized by careful scrutiny and close examination: held a minute inspection of the grounds.

Neuron (noun): Cell Biology. a specialized, impulse-conducting cell that is the functional unit of the nervous system, consisting of the cell body and its processes, the axon and dendrites.

Labels: Accomplishments, Essence of Sprouting, Friends, Questions, Real Life

You people have to be entertained again ... hai ... waste my time.

Don't worry, the history and the tagbox will be up soon, I'm pretty much a tech idiot with HTML and things like that. Seriously, putting up a stupid tagbox is near impossible without her, all i see is a bunch of codes that don't come out properly as a tagbox. Sheesh, and to think Stephanie does HTML like it's not brain surgery. I don't read web language I guess, I mean who can? !//@: > (can read arh! smart lor.)

Mid-years things will be coming up after tomorrow, nothing better than a round-up to make myself oh-so-proud and so guilty (more of guilty actually, I haven't been a good girl x)

So ... thanks to you people who have expressed your wonderful support for this bloggie, I've decided to compile whatever you guys said and make myself happy. So self-centred, I know (:

Reviews:

Sharon: Nice, readable, a bit of easy Literature style, not too cheem

Anjelica: it rocks. short and sweet.
I KNOW I ROCK. -hugs self- -continues to hug self- -screams girlishly- i know..i turn myself on

Hong Wei: Read ler can improve my england! XD Hopefully I can type better reviews.

Shawn: interactive GOOD! u talk to the reader directly. english must cut down.. cos nt all ppl gd in english. must make it simple so ppl will wanna read. wad is alacrity?

ya.. really v interactive, v gd.. like got alot of comments withing (BRACKETS) to add humor. basically tats it.. and ur blogskin's nice! although its simple i like the notebook style.

usually when ppl blog.. they say things like today i went to the market, then bought one fish. so big HAHE wad the fish. then mother say she go buy vegetable then i go home. ok very busy byes! like.. very boring.. all about the daily lfe.. must try to make it interesting like include events that u did with ur FRIENDS (whom are among ur readers) and must not say things like "i did this i did that " instead try saying " we went to sentosa and we had " .

COLLECTIVE NOUNS makes ur reader feel involved. cnt say things like"ok im very busy so this is gg be a super short post. kjhgfjasgbfdbsjbvczdshtghvz ok byes" cnt show that u find blogging a CHORE (although it really is) otherwise ppl will be bored too.

im so talkative - smiley face -

Mythili: You updated your blog? Good for you!

Hafizah: Better than mine, I haven't updated it since last year!

Yong Quan: Very wordy though ... no pics. Nice blog, I like the skin.

So ... I'll get more reviews and edit it as soon as I can, ya? (: When I'e gotten everything, I'll put in a reply. Sooo thanks again guys! I'm proud of myself too (wipes tear away). So do keep checking back to this post, I need to work on the accuracies of the comments .. heh heh, not that I'm making everything up, I can't talk as much as Shawn.

Yep, and I'll have to put a reminder here while Shawn's bugging me about some Maple crap. xP, sorry Shawn, I'll have to break it to you the hard way: It's crap. (I'm ignoring him now)

Anyway, will be doing a segment on reviews of my fav blogs and bloggers (the understated, unsung ones that no one knows about but your circle of friends).

C'mon, you guys deserve to be as famous as xiaxue, cuz you rock my world, and I know I rock yours. You don't need photoshopped pics to keep me interested in your blogs, so good for you! Not like I'm very -cough- interested in blogs that are made famous for unfathomable reasons, a bit like marketing consultants. All i see is a whole bunch of ads and nothing fun to read.

See ya, gotta go cram some Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime (that's a mouthful. Try saying it quickly 10 times so I can laugh at you) and ... Chemistry ... things.

So if you do need Literature help, this blog will feature some tips soon.

For Chemistry, you can always count on me to tell you that sodium chloride IS in fact EDIBLE. Remember this Huiyi, and you won't go wrong for Chem Paper 1.

Love ya. (:

For you people who can't understand what I'm talking about (References From Dictionary.com)

Unfathomable (adjective) => 1. Difficult or impossible to understand; incomprehensible:
unfathomable theories.

2. Difficult or impossible to measure: unfathomable depths

Labels: Accomplishments, Blogs, What's up or new, WhatcausesJoy

Chocolates are good for the soul. Why do you think girls always eat lots and lots of it when they're heartbroken and cry about their heart break to their gal pals? Not that ... I'm ... suffering any of that sort ... of course *sniff* Someone pass me my chocolates!

While I am still in the mood for alacrity (thank you i'm aiming A1 for english, so bear with me), just in case i'm never ever going to be this positive again (chances are ... say ... 99% no), here's a big thank-you handshake to the guy friends and a big girl-hug for the girl friends. Yeah.. my bisexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Okayokay .. I have no identity problems lar.

You can be my senior, my junior, my 1992-ers like me, I'd love you people anyways. You can be older than my mum (like the bookshop auntie) or so little that i can knock you over with a finger (i did that to my baby cousin before. He fell back like a domino MUAHAHAHAHA).

Threfore, regardless of race, language, religion, gender, socio-economic status, anything you can think of, as long as your character doesn't make me wanna hurl my lunch or my abuses, yeah you're cool. And i'm pretty nice already, so all you have to do is not be the biggest cork-up in the world to be a friend.

I don't want to have a chocolate diet my whole life, really I don't. I'm not rich enough for liposuction. So, chocs can't always be a substitute for good buddies, like you! lucky reader.

Very recently, a chain of events has led me to realise that I gotta up the importance of friends, chums, meanies, whatever you like to be called. Idiot is reserved for Hafizah, so Moron is up for grabs. Anyone?

Anyways, I couldn't have made it through these few days without you guys/girls. Thanks for your concern and you so totally deserve a big thank-you post. I'd die if any of you leave. No, I'll just be really really upset. xP

Which is why I suppose i fear seperation, loneliness and death in relationships, as some of you might have been aware of. I could always count on you and talk about my problems, so you can be a part time shrink/physchiatrist too! Such attractive bonuses, what are you waiting for!

Really, since the sacrifice and worry has left me forever in gratitude, you deserve something better too! A one-way trip to Paradise. Adios amigos! I'll move into your property as soon as you don't come back.

So mean, I know, heh heh heh heh. The company, advice, laughs and fun is much appreciated, for I know I could never ask for better friends. The world is one that is so cold and full of strangers, of all the billions in the world, how many can you forge a relationship with? You'd wanna smack many of the world's inhabitants in the face anyway. No offence, but I'm telling the truth. =x

As God had fated our paths to cross, he would make it so that we would see each other again at the most surprising of places, if we ever lose contact, of course. If you're good at math, calculate the probablility of a chance meeting between two individuals from the billions on Planet Earth. If you're pathetic at calculus, well ... You're never going to meet anybody like me and I'm never going to meet anybody like you. Clear cut enough for you? Like a needle in a haystack, you're darn lucky to find something shiny, sharp, witty, piercing and and ... (okay i'll stop now, my ego is inflating to the size of a fat lady's waist)

Honestly, the odds are amazing, aren't they? At some point of time, we'd have overcome something together, and Einstein's Theory of Relativity has ensured that it would never be erased from the timeline. Life can be regretful, but I've never said it wasn't a pessimist's optimism before, right?

Therefore, I conclude, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, according to Newton's Third Law of Motion. Karma is a concept that many understand to be a re-enacting reaction. Put it all together, come on, you can do it!

And you get an apple that will always be there for you when you need her.
All you have to do is wait and cross your fingers, I'll arrive in the next minute when the village people drop me off and decide I have better purpose here than to sit around and do stupid things all day in their idyllic kampong.

You, my good friend, my close friend, my best buddy, will always have a (substitute your ideal acroymn or synonym for "friend" here) in me.


My English too cheem for you? Hehe too bad. - Angelic Smile - (References from Dictionary.com)

Alacrity (noun) => 1. cheerful readiness, promptness, or willingness: We accepted the invitation with alacrity.
2. liveliness; briskness.

Labels: Accomplishments, Essence of Sprouting, Friends, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, WhatcausesJoy

Life sucks and when it does, make some sucky collage out of it.
Okay this is sooo unlike the original version:

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"

Sometimes, it'd be wonderful to live life without any inhibitions. Okay, all the time. I'd like to feel the wind in my "shampoo-ad" hair and the fine soft sand between the toes of my bare feet. To be stuck in this pathetic rat race in my stuffy ol' compartment of a shithole and things that revolve around it.

Why should we be bound by so much crap? Let loose and let live, to be like this is to constrict the endless bounds of the human spirit. Of course we don't have much of a choice do we? Such is a situation where they call "bo pian lor!" I wonder, why on earth did humans impose such limitations on themselves in the first place? Ah you see the artist and the idealist crawling out of my passive shell.

Breathe in and enjoy every breath, and breath out, enjoy the emptiness in your head. Sorry, the lightness of you body. I'm not making this any more pleasant, am I?

Really, I'm getting myself into the mood for lit while the little sparrows are outside the window and there they go. C'mon birdie! Take me with you!!

To be free of all woes and miseries. Ah, let's meet in your dreams.

To attain true happiness, is to find happiness despite the woe and misery. not in the lack of them. I'd like to be happy from now on. What's there not to like about you now?

Anyway, as much as I'm totally counting my blessings now, and of course some crap-shit aren't included, I'd like to be less reserved though. I wouldn't give a shit if you're a hater that's reading this blog cuz you happened to chance upon it and plan to exploit it to your personal gain. Totally surprised you, didn't I?

Good news, I'm smarter than you know. It's time for a nice, soothing nap. (:


Because I care for all kinds of readers, I'd care for you too, especially if you don't get what the hell I'm saying.
(References from Dictionary.com)

Inhibitions => (noun)

1.The act of inhibiting or the state of being inhibited.
2.Something that restrains, blocks, or suppresses.
3.Psychology Conscious or unconscious restraint of a behavioral process, a desire, or an impulse.

Idealist => (noun)

1. a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc.
2. a visionary or impractical person.
3. a person who represents things as they might or should be rather than as they are.
4. a writer or artist who treats subjects imaginatively.
5. a person who accepts the doctrines of idealism.

Labels: Essence of Sprouting, Seeds of Smartness Sown to Show-off, WhatcausesJoy

hey ya'll.. i'm back, that is if you're still there, by the way the title above totally reflects what I will be typing. Fear is a thing with forty-eyes, and from the hours of 7 to 11, the fear's real and larger than life. Thriller night, I know .. just about as scary as a little boy spending the night with Michael Jackson. (disclaimer: no offence mj, just kidding)

Most recently i have developed a form of claustrophobia. And recently is actually half an hour ago.

Sorry if you all happened to be the one that i disturbed in the past weeks. If you got this treatment, ha too bad! HEH HEH HEH. oh well, you wanna be my friend right?

I'm sure you guys know why is this girl running around like a train that's lost control. Lord if You love me You'll rescue me now. Please. Knock me out, anything, just get it over and done with.

Am i for a dose of retalin?

If you have no idea what that is, ever heard Billie Joe from Green Day singing "soda pop and retalin, no one ever died for my sins in hell". Okay you haven't. Retalin is a medicine used to treat hyperactivity, except that the one i suffer from isn't the one like my brother is constantly experiencing.

It's a lot deeper that that. Ever felt like being on crazy clockwork and going tick tock tick tock on a time bomb? Yes, that's what i'm getting. I feel the panic rushing through my veins, and my eyes are wide open though i should be sleepy by now. Tick tock, watch the time on my radar, you're losing it.

I hate this, i want to concentrate on studying. I could, last time though .. I could bury myself with a textbook, you know, jump into an open grave and let the textbooks pile. Or I could use the very thick amaths text to hit my sardonic head with. (re: sardonic = mocking. yes my sanity is becoming an insult to mankind)

Or i could distract myself with some TV, newspapers, the Net, friends, i love you people.. now i can't be left alone. I am claustrophobic because ..

Because.. I'm starting to fear loneliness. Yes, that's a fact. The house is empty, and I don't like it like this. You can't understand this! You just can't! I'd give anything for my brother and mother to come back. Come on home! Nag at me! Annoy me!

I'm not an attention seeker. Really, haters, if you thought so, you don't know me. Something is wrong and I know it. I'm aware. I feel only the cold rush of air through the steely window and the fan. It's not boredom, save me from myself. I want to hang out at Stephanie's, if this can cure this fear.

I'm doing anything to fill up the house ..and and keep myself occupied. It's too silent, too empty, too blank. It musn't reflect my soul. It can't, i wouldn't allow it. DARN I WISH I WENT SWIMMING INSTEAD! WHO CARES IF I HAVE 2 DUMB PAPERS I'M GOING NUTS HERE.

I can't stand the silence, it's creeping up to me, leave me alone i tell you! SHOO! Don't make me set my Dad's outdated luo han on you! It bites and you're not going to like it.

Soo now we know my symptoms .. fear of being alone, fear of uncertainty, fear of a large and empty home, constant panic, u name it.

It's so stupid, trust me to do something stupid. At least watching That's So Raven took my mind off for a while. Thank God for SCV.

I seriously hate you now, why are you doing this to me. Bet you can't even understand it, you just won't. Congratulations, you picked the right idiot to mess with.

Be thankful if you don't have the foggiest idea when it comes to vocabulary (References from Dictionary.com)

Claustrophobia (noun) =>
an abnormal fear of being in enclosed or narrow places.

Sardonic (Adjective) =>
characterized by bitter or scornful derision; mocking; cynical; sneering: a sardonic grin.

Labels: Darkness, Essence of Sprouting, Teen Angst

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