It's not easy being an older sister and the eldest daughter.
Right now I'm sitting next to the a very volatile bratty kid.
Gosh, why is he acting like he's having his boy period?!
I hate blogger right now. The fonts, sizes and colours are gone. If this (glitch?) keeps up, I might have to move to wordpress. *sniff* Blogger's falling back.
Sigh, what am I to do? The agent's most likely not gonna call me back anytime soon, simply because if parents had a choice, they'd pick the Uni student over the O level graduate. Til then, I'm very much jobless.
So now, I'm stuck with teaching my brother English. Somebody kill me. Ranting to be followed...
I HATE MY JOB! I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH! I'M PAID THE WRONG KIND OF PEANUTS TO TEACH THE LITTLE INFERNAL NUISANCE! Gawsh. I know I have to do it. There's just so much pressure. My brother just HAD to be born 7 years later (yes who asked you to come into existence!). One day, I'm gonna tear my hair out.
We're all bound to our responsibilities and apparently, I am too. I'm just getting started ya'll. The taste of an unappreciative burden. He's giving me second thoughts if I should have children, and if I did, maybe leaving them with Michael Jackson and going to the Bahamas sounds pretty good too.
(just kidding, though for a second there I was thinking of leaving him to a pedophile pop-singing petrifi-er)
I'm immensely frustrated.
I have to teach and worst still, I can't protest. You know how they say siblings can't teach each other? Yeah that's not a myth.
No fancy talk here, but maybe a year ago, I would have thrown a huge drama queen fit. Talk about infringing on human rights! Perhaps I treated him like a total liability, like, I have my life to live, I have everything else to do and honestly, you're not in my list of things I bother about to associate myself with deeply. As far as I was concerned, he was my parents' unfortunate responsibility.
Well, if you've lived with him day in and day out, you'll know. Or you can just check out your sibling and think of the times he might've given you a stroke from frustration.
God help me.
As love would have it, finishing my O levels and progressing in terms of maturity puts such a huge strain on myself at times. I am getting my wiring done properly, yet I feel like I'm going insane. HA, too late now.
Sigh. He runs away to watch tv, use the computer, sleep, stare into space or eat a lollipop, every possible ignoring action you can think of. Then when I get him to sit down, he stares daggers (yeah he's had a bad history with learning) into the pages and forever becomes a pretty short time when he's scribbling the answers hastily in order to stop his self-imposed ordeal. And I mean it.
He doesn't read the questions properly, doesn't answer them properly, ... in teenspeak, a lot of fan-hogging and emo-ing and patience losing is done.
At least I do manage to give him the credit he deserves and if he tries making use of his neurons to get the mind machinery going, he gets it.
Oh and guess who's the target of all his outbursts, anger, plain lazines, frustration or otherwise.
Gee, don't blame me if I'm easily pissed too. Gosh I should stop getting affected by that little *censored*. I'm sorry but he is.
This doesn't happen a lot. I've been immune to most of his ridiculous behaviour but not entirely.
GIVE ME A BREAK. I'M JUST 16!
To think I tried to understand a kid. Gee, I should stop waiting around for somebody to cooperate.
*slaps forehead*
Unfortunately, simply because I'm more aware than before, my mind's already wired in my responsibilities. Again with the limitations!
I know how much this means to my family. Nobody's more qualified to teach the little bugger English, and I have to just in case he becomes a bigger liability if he sucks at his studies in the future. Tuition fees are too expensive and my parents are paying for it with my blood pressure and "patience-training". CRAP. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! 10 dollars isn't enough for 1 and a half hours. Yet, I can't ask for more because that would be turning a blind eye to preparation for the rocky year.
Yes, I have it worse than you think. At least in my mind I do.
Perseverance.
One day, you'll hear me say "Look ma! Top of the world!"
(And i wonder where my brother would be)
Labels: Teen Angst
