Been out with the cousins yesterday. Catching up with them was a lot of fun, though not without misunderstandings (and gossiping). Ah well, I'm so darn un-fit, this is real bad, and I'm losing my patience with my goggles and water-clogged frozen ears. uhohs.
(Hmph. 16 rounds and counting in the pool damn you. Make me feel so bad about myself. And Jasmin's faster than me now NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Time to shape up!
*gets fat ass off couch* Not to mention, I have 2 mugger-NJwannago-s cousins. Feelin' the pressure ya'll.
*feels real inferior about wanting to take alternative route*)
The O's are in less than 2 months, 30 plus days to be exact. Time to get back to studying today. I'm going into deep thought.
So much for conflicting advice.
To do what you like to do so you won't regret (or would), or to go down the mass route (whether you will regret or not is another thing)
Wings take me higher, sky please come lower.
The swimming pool and the study room, then eventually the exam hall. What's the difference? It really makes me feel that whatever it is, I'll never have their speed, stamina or skill. Now, even our aspirations are different. Not like there's a problem with that.
I learnt to kick my legs to keep myself afloat, to breathe underwater, to make sharp turns in the water, to save myself if i was drowning, and i was pulled out of deep water twice when I couldn't rise above the surface.
The feeling of sinking is never fun. To think they were the ones to teach me how to swim. At least now, I know I would never die as quickly if i was thrown into uncharted territory.
I still find that most of the time, I'm struggling to keep myself afloat.
When can I be on par with everyone else? I don't want to lag behind. Then again, it might not be so much of a case of being like everyone else... Damn I'm confused.
I want to be my own person and find my own direction, and yet I feel that I cannot be far behind others cos I wouldn't know if it's foolproof. And yes I need it to be foolproof, its the o levels for pete's sake, not just another challenge at swimming to see who can get to the other side of the pool first.
In that case, I know I'll always be third best.
Labels: Darkness, Family, Questions, Secondary School Life
