Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thou shalt enjoy random banter and rant, for if satisfaction dost not sight thee, the disconcerting frustration shall cleft thee in twain.

Behold! For thy bitchiness knows no bounds!


Anyway, life is kinda suckish for me right now. I've lost my voice, and I'm supposed to deliver a rap on Monday. So it has been a lazy Saturday for me, considering how the inflammation developed into a voice-killing sore throat. I'm phlegmmy, it hurts when I swallow, it hurts when I cough, and I cough because it feels as though someone tickles the back of my throat every minute. Apparently, I slept a lot today to escape that.


Some people deserve rectal thermometers forcefully stuffed up their crackholes. If only I can bring myself to name names, or rather, name. It's a little pointless like this, but this is what non-confrontational people like me have to do. What lacks in confrontation is made up for in rants directed at the anonymous. As much as this stops me from being impulsive and having to pick up the pieces later, part of me wishes for the person in question to know it in his (HIS!) heart fully well that he's pissing me off really badly. I suppose not, since he's apparently not very smart, shallower than a puddle, ridiculously angsty and attention seeking in a bad way (and for terrible reasons, one of those is that he is himself. I know people get upset like that, but most of the time, people redeem themselves and I can understand them. In his case, he's just pathetically himself. It's hard to get mad at a person, not the circumstances, but now, even rhectoric would rather kill itself)

I don't know what to say. Except for, YOU SUCK.

I'm a lot more patient now, but you still manage to piss her ladyship off. Man you're good. If you ever decide to wear a Speedo, you'd probably choke yourself with it while trying to put it on.

I doubt he reads this blog though. Simply reading the first sentence would hurt his brain, and grey matter would become melted gelatin. Honestly, creatures like you are a disgrace to the male species and homo sapiens. Don't ever have children. It's the same reason why people don't want Paris Hilton to have kids. Gosh if you tell me that my post and blog is emo simply because I don't overdose on smilies or overtly happy signs, take your limited vocab, your assumptions, your intelligence of a beng away from the ground that I blog on. Don't soil it. Learn to read. Please.


Damn I'm catty when something gets on my nerves.


Shit happens. The circumstances are ever so frustrating. I love what I study, and I started this week with a renewed breath to enjoy every lesson and every bit of homework. Don't get me wrong, it's really effective in staving away procrastination and potential put-downs. Sometimes, life just disappoints you. To put it simply, grey skies are when the sun cannot be seen, but that doesn't mean the sun has been obliterated and painted a dull colour, then scattered across the atmosphere.

Speaking to Hongwei, I now understand why Poly gives you lots to talk about.

DD, AD, ILP, IP... God teaches me a lesson of His own while my lecturers impart their skills and sarcasm.


Oh yes. For improv, I've gotten 21/30 (sidetrack: Psych MST 31/40). Thank God results have been satisfactory (average results for both tests, really), especially when I'm finding footing on uncertain ground. I was certain I wouldn't excel at the start of the semester, but I needed my safety net while He prepares me and guides me though the manouvres, constantly reminding me that I'm very much lost without Him. Ah well, every day is a new resolution. Oh no! Time to get back to work > <


Anyways, DD has been off to a technically smooth and emotionally rocky start (contradiction!). It is time for me to learn the truth of drama. If you want dynamism, you're going to have to put up with all the differences and differences in egos. Yes, I shall solidify my stance while keeping the balance. That's always been my job, hasn't it? Hence, the non-confrontational tendencies. Moments of unhappiness have to come to pass, and, this is hard to learn, but... Whatever happens during DD stays in DD.

It's the stress of so many new bad experiences that put me off a little, I'll be up on my feet sooner or later, one day having the ability to slip through the cracks. At least the work is done.

I won't forget the good times though. Great to see so many sides of people that are hidden away from the majority. It's... humanising, to say the least.


AD forces me to question myself as a person. C is for Constance, and unfortunately also for Contradiction. How can someone so Cruel be able to display so much staged Compassion and Concern. Now I ask myself: which of it is artificial? Oh and my Classmates are a screaming riot. Love their sense of humour man.


Hmm, should I talk about my tests?

IP: *pats self* Not bad for the first MCQ test, and I'm so glad I studied in depth for some difficult topics. Making the right descision in a bid to win a gamble, and then actually winning it feels good. Note to self, always look long term. That shapes me up for the written tests. Fyi, I didn't study 3 topics of bio psych, and there were around 12 topics tested. Oh and IP's getting really fun. Gotta love Social Pysch. It makes me all... introspective. Haha total contradiction, considering how Social Pysch is about external influences.

Improv: Nervousness gets you nowhere, but I'm extending more control over my own emotions each day. I know I'll get better with more practice, and this is just where I am now. Drama is but a facade. The best actors are those with the strongest facade. Interpret this as you might. I think, the stronger the facade, the more comfortable you are exposed to the elements, cuz you're safe to be the character and some facets of yourself. Drama is such a contradiction.


ILP was okay I guess. Both good and bad. Good because I'm learning much about children, it'll make me a better mother. It gives me the opportunity to help Catherine when she doesn't get it. The more you teach, the more you learn, innit? I've learnt how to write better notes already. Maybe that's how teachers can stick to their jobs for decades.


Bad part about ILP? For one, the lecturer isn't exactly the most sensitive person in the world, yet she is. :) From informing us that she's going to cry to siding with the class on deciding to trample over a student's different perspective... she's done it all. I like her, but this calls for much forgiveness to people who don't understand that they have committed a crime against a soul.


What can I say? Some of us think heat always softens iron. Similarly, we think an unheard of, different perspective is wrong and ridiculous, without wanting to hear more of it. They said humans flying could never be, but people in those times would bite their lips if they now know of things like Boeing 747. What misjudgement!


Similarly, this is how people misunderstand MJ. They cannot accept the possibility that the dude has a fixation on childhood, without any sexual connotations. Why is this not possible? Why not? Naivete has many forms. We don't know the man, heck. We don't even know ourselves that well. Who are we to tell MJ who he is? You are a freak who penetrates little boys while their parents are not around. Yes, that and so many people wanting to suck the money outta him. People just choose to ignore what they cannot understand. When they agree with this sentence, they would probably not think that they have done it before. You know who you are.


Well, I'm not a pushover. I stop at a different opinion, because I am not all-knowing. It's called balance.

If I am but a fool to you, then I would rather remain in the light. ;) Those who fear darkness live in the light, while those who would rather remain in the darkness are doing so in order to indulge in their wrongs because no one can see in the dark.

Gotta love that kinda wisdom. Reminds me of Daniel saying those who are the most honest have the least to lose.

God help this contradiction, and this contradictory post. Haha, the very essence of me.


Pill-poppers can sleep, but how well can they sleep? Like insomnia, ignorance is restricted bliss. There is much freedom beyond. I might have lost the voice in my larynx (voice box), but I certainly haven't lost the one in my head. I'm very much sane, and still alive and writing. Composing words to defend, rebuke, praise and indulge. See see my vocab!


Okay whatever.

Good Night and Good Luck!


Footnote:

ILP: Intro to Lifespan Psychology
IP: Intro to Psychology
DD: Devised Drama
AD: Applied Drama

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corny in a paradigm where sense and non sequiturs go together, taking it in like vanilla ice cream on a banana split, or sand on a boot. whichever goes.

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