This morning I woke up with a cer-razy throat inflammation that I swear wasn't there the night before. No more Doritos, excessive practicing and whatnot, and not enough sleep and water.
So yeah... battling extreme thirst and this miserable hollowness in my throat, like someone surgically removed a protective layer.
On the bright side, I'm much better now.
One thing I've found myself wondering is why females and hormonal little boys have to be so cryptic in their speech, especially when someone's stepped on their foot. I guess I'll understand the slightly sadistic element of being totally enigmatic when one doesn't reveal where the source of pain comes from.
It's more than just not understanding where it hurts. For some of us, we'd tell you if we knew. A case of "I would if I could, but I can't so I don't".
Besides the occasional annoyance (you know who you are), sometimes we're just attention seeking, anal and ridiculously hopeful of any chance of telepathy like that.
From dust we came, and to dust we will return. Even a child is so full of evil, so they say, and I never understood why. Is telling a white lie that you ate one more cookie... evil?
Maybe it's the potential of evil that is being referred to. It's terrifying to be acquainted with the evil side of you, to know how every human can potentially destroy all that is good.
This is where guilt, laws and self-restraint, and God comes into order.
Guilt. Have you ever come back from an outdoor camp, under the hot sun, caked in a layer of dirt, and had a little encounter with mud and the 'great outdoors'? You smell of something unpleasantly peculiar, your hair is a rat's nest and of course, you haven't had a bath in ages.
Being a cleanliness freak, it's the same, considering how I can't stand being very dirty. When guilt engulfs and digests you like a carnivorous creature, I feel dirtier than a whore. I'm appalled by the evil that resides in me. Thank God it hasn't culminated into... I'd rather not know. Maybe that's why my conscience works overtime.
Words cannot express the regret and disgust, knowing that this is the darkness in me and fear that one day it would come to relish its consumption of me and God forbid, I cannot bring your names to my lips.
We're vulnerable in so many ways. Merciless in the face of fate and our inner workings, but also at the mercy of He who makes us and guides us.
May God protect us from bad thoughts.
Time for cleansing.
